Which Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers character are you?

Lord of The Rings was recently voted by a panel of myself to be the best series of all time. After winning this exclusive honour, (yes that is spelt with a "u" because Tolkien is British), I had to decide who was the objectively best character in The Two Towers, the most quotable of all of the trilogy. (Citation needed.)

Join me now in identifying who you will become in your lucid dream if you fall asleep watching the entire extended edition. 10 simple questions for 1 simple mind.

Created by: Dr Penor

You try to enter the hall of Theoden but the guard conducts a dubiously legal stop and search. What does he find on you?
- Sword
- Axe
- Staff
- Desperation
- Bow
- Axe body spray (also desperation)
There's a strange man in the woods. He's wearing a cloak. I resemble an eight year old child. What's the best course of action?
- Approach this mysterious stranger as he reveals what lies beneath the gown in glorious blinding light.
- Sound the horn of helm hammerhand and alert an adult.
- That's no man.
You're on a night out and you find your friend lying facing down in the gutter. Its 2am. You know you're drunk but you're also pretty sure people should be able to breathe. What do you do?
- Walk on by. Not my circus, not my oliphants.
- Mister Frodo nooooooo
- Convince a passer-by to perform mouth to mouth instead of you.
- Like any good paramedic, steal his ring whilst he's unconscious..
Murder is...
- Illegal
- Evil
- Spelt with Two R's
- Kinda difficult if there's someone else around
- A fun game we can set a high score on
You've just been blessed with a superpower. It's...
- Supersouper - The ability to make soup using water and only one extra ingredient.
- X-ray X-rays - The ability to see through to the other side of every X-ray photo.
- Green Thumb - Your house plants survive no matter how little you water them.
- StalkerMan - Forced to keep a perfect 30 yd distance behind any moving object.
- Anti-Green Thumb - Your house plants die no matter how much you water them. (Default setting)
My one flaw? Well, I,
- have trust issues.
- am physically abusive to my ex's new partners.
- don't have many memorable quotes this film.
- died.
- wouldn't stop at just one.
- really like horns but its just such a rare instrument nowadays.
A kilogram of Lead. Discuss.
- I could probably throw that real far.
- Hmm, better not. Last time I put that in the recipe, they all developed brain damage.
- Is heavier than a kilogram of feathers.
- Is not heavier than a kilogram of feathers.
- That's not a precious metal.
The olympic torch is passing close to your castle. The runner is now within 50m of your position.
- "Bring him down, Legolas"
- Let him spread the joy of athletic competition through your lands.
But moooom, I'm hungry. "We have pizza at home." The pizza at home:
- Lembas Bread
- Sushi
- Bark, and our own failings.
- Manflesh
You stand beneath the might of Sauron, "I have looked into your soul, I see your insecurities, I see your deepest fears, I see _____"
- dead people
- clearly now the rain has gone
- you haven't watered your crops on farmville for over 5 years now
- your browser history
- you've lost weight, how nice for you, you've really been taking care of yourself lately, i'm impressed.

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