alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
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any of those not sigmas who think immigration is bad should read Boy overboard
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its by Morris Gleitzman
i had to read it for english and its sad -
i'm not the biggest fan of Morris Gleitzman's books but thats just because he has a different writing style than what i like
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I need to vent about something but I don’t know what. Theres so much s--- going on in my head, I just don’t know which one is bothering me right now
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Humans are so cruel
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im so tired oh my god
its almost the end of week 4. in week 5 i have nothing on except school, I might be able to take a day off to rest. week 6 i might take 1 day off too, then i've got les mis on saturday, then rehearsals/shows all week 7. in week 8 i can rest -
theres just so much s--- in my head i cant cope or describe it
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i just need to get through today. one day at a time. everything has to work out
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humans are fascinating. i'd love to study sociology but i can't see myself working in it in the future. i cant imagine myself doing anything in the future for work except writing and, if everything works out, maybe even performing. but then there leaves the question "what if i fail", and if i do i've wasted my schooling years on creativity, i'll be running late to getting a job and settling down, and i'll spend the rest of my life working minimum wage in a job i dont like probably living with my parents
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i don't see living with your parents as an adult as failing at life to be clear. i just hate the place i live. I want to move to Sydney, maybe even Melbourne. if i make a name for myself and have no issues with money i'll move to Canada. my dad managed to start from scratch and create his own business, i can too. making a business take off is much harder than publishing a few books. the problem will be making a living off of those books preferably without an extra job by 26-28
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I’m just so scared. I want to get out of this place and be an adult so bad, but if I don’t make it, what happens then? I don’t really have a backup plan. An author in my area managed to make it with just a couple of books, but if I can’t, what do I do? I don’t know what the odds are and I don’t know what else I’d like to do in life
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And the world is just so horrible. The economy is obviously s--- and everything is bad. It’s always been bad. How am I meant to be okay with living in this universe where nothing will ever be good and peaceful. How am I meant to be okay with the fact that no matter what I do, I’ll never matter. I could literally drop dead right now and literally nobody would be affected, the world will keep spinning and I’ll never make an impact
I want to be an author so bad. I want to make it and be happy. But if I fail, what do I do? I can’t spend my life working a f---ing 9 to 5 living in an apartment and paying rent and not amounting to anything -
And for some f---ing reason, people just don’t like me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. People take one look at me and decide they don’t like me. I just want to get out of this place. I want to be happy, and I can’t imagine myself being in love with and enjoying a future that doesn’t include being a successful author
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I’m not good enough. I don’t understand why people don’t like me or what I’m doing wrong
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I need validation from somewhere
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