Sadest time of your life?
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 24, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Sadest time of your life?
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Never late to open yourself! 🙂
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Being born.
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2 days ago exactly
Sometimes the second time hits harder than the first -
I will never forget that f---in moment, all the memories came swarming over me, telling me something, but I had no idea what it was except i was hurting bad.
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not saddest but most terrifying. I had a couple psychotic episodes about a year ago. i don't remember a lot of it because I've blocked it out and I was blacking out for a lot of it, but basically I thought everyone but me shared a hive mind and knew all of my deepest secrets and guilts, and that I was the only person not in this sort of hive mind. I freaked out, I ended up waking my brother up to try and get him to calm me down. I also called one of my sisters and was trying to get her to help, but while I was on the phone with her the voices came back. I tossed the phone away and that was when I went to get my brother.
I remember walking through the living room to the other side of the house. Everything looked/felt weird, like I had entered some sort of different reality. I thought that since I had realized, I had broken the "rules" and now everything was going to "end." I don't understand what that means anymore, but I thought I was about to go to hell/stop existing or something like that. The voices were also telling me to kill myself.
I kept getting flashes of random things. At one point I saw my best friend's boyfriend holding a gun and knew in that.. hallucination? that he was going to kill me. While it was happening I tried to go to the house phone to call my sister and tell her I was going to be okay/not to worry, but I blacked out and remember coming to having thrown the phone away from me. The voices kept telling me to get my grandfather's gun and kill myself. I woke my grandpa up and slept in his bedroom that night. I was too afraid to tell him what was happening because I, and I quote my brother's words, thought he was "one of them." I scared the absolute s--- out of my little brother, he locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night, lol.
I had another one a few days later. My best friend's boyfriend had asked me to pick him up and drive him somewhere, so I did. We were sitting in his driveway and he was talking to me. He always carries a gun with him, and he had pulled it out to take pictures. This triggered another episode and I completely zoned out again, I remember looking at the radio. The music was turned down, but you know how the title of the songs show on the radio? And it only shows a few words at a time. So it said "life is" and I freaked out, I thought it was going to say "a lie/fake" next, it didn't of course, it said "highway" (lol) but I guess I freaked the guy out enough. I was pretty much non-verbal at this point because I wasn't comfortable enough with him to tell him what was going on or to ask for help. Plus.. The gun, ya know. He asked if I was okay and I kinda nodded and he got out and went inside. I had to drive home while still having the episode. It wasn't as intense as the first time and I luckily made it home okay.
The third time I was just chilling in my living room, and it started to happen again. I was hearing the voices and whatnot, so I called a friend. I assured her I was safe, where I wouldn't hurt myself and that I was just going to ride it out.
My psychiatrist says it was because I was on anti-depressants at the time. I'm bipolar, and he said that a bipolar person taking anti-depressants can trigger psychosis. I haven't had one sense and I'm now on the proper medication. But I still get a little shaky thinking about it. It felt so real. I worry it is sometimes, and whatever I realized that I thought would make everything "end" has been suppressed so far in my mind so that things don't, and that my reality/life really isn't real. ha ha ha. -
Probably the first time that I realized that I hated myself so much.
Ig it just hurts to know what a sucky person you are -
The saddest time of my life was my first to seventh grade years of school I got suicidal around the end of it and was complentating cutting, luckily I'm far away from that now
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My worst summer was in ninth grade, after the attempt. I remember having a breakdown at the (mental) hospital and telling them that I was fine and they legit believed me and I got sent home way too early. I remember ignoring doing my summer reading, because I genuinely thought I wasn't going to make it through the summer. That was probably the worst summer of my life.
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PointlessDreams What a story?! Terrifying! 🤯😳🥵🥶😱.
I’m speechless 😶 -
My saddest time it’s when I heard that Alan Rickman passed away.
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My saddest time is still happening.
I've attempted suicide so many times, and still do.
I'm very suicidal, I'll just say that! ;ω;
But anyways, my parents and siblings found out about it.
My pocket knife and multi tool was taken away.
All my sharp things are gone. ;-;
I can't even scratch myself, now. ;-; -
It's like; JUST LET ME BLEED!
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My saddest time? Hard to say. At some point, I thought I had no personality, like I was just acting like the people around me. It terrified me and I didn't like myself. Sometimes I still don't.
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Dude this is getting so negative stop sharing your worst versions of yourselvs.
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“Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it,
Your face isn't a mask, don't hide it ,
Your body isn't a book, don't judge it ,
Your life isn't a movie, don't end it.”
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