alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
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I’m really scared about tomorrow. I know that of it goes badly I’ll feel horrid for days and I don’t like giving that much power to some uncontrollable force of the universe
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I technically won’t be any older until 10.50 at night which really doesn’t help it feel more official or special. But it’s funny I suppose.
My mother obviously won’t be here on my birthday because of a work trip. Sigh. So she gave me an early birthday present today. A bee brooch and a Jinx figurine and I love them so much -
happy birthday :)
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Thanks lovely :)
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Today was strange. It was a lot better than last year in almost every way. But I’m still left with a bit of sadness and almost grief? Depression? Perhaps Clamare? I’m not sure.
It started being lovely, but then it turned bad because of my own feelings. I’m tired and that made me feel sad because my birthday didn’t look the way it does for other people, even if it was mostly good enough for me. I have a lot of s--- around my birthday that’s happened and that I’ve associated with it that makes it hard, so I’m always going to be sad when the day is at its end. I just wish I didn’t feel so empty. Unaccomplished.
Maybe it’s because I’ve wasted this year Rotting. Because I haven’t been able to do any of my yearly resolutions besides “read more” and “stay alive”. I’m not sure. We’ll see -
I’m such a selfish person
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Every single year it’s like this. I don’t know why I thought it would be different.
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Maybe I’m just drained. But, oh my god, I feel so horrid inside.
I think it’s stemming from my family. I don’t feel important or special enough. And it’s just everything else that makes me sad combining into this one big mass that eats away at me and won’t go away -
What if there’s nothing about me to want? What if people aren’t the problem, it’s just me?
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Reposting sad things feels like being a kid crying in my room, waiting for someone to come and comfort me, but nobody ever comes
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i'm so sorry
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It’s okay. The day after my birthday is always weird. It’ll be better tomorrow
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i hope it is :)
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Thank you. I hope it gets better for you too
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:)
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