alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
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My dad’s car is hot and sweaty and I’ve got weird sticky s--- on my leg that if I touch everything will implode and I’m hungry so it feels like my stomach is eating itself
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I don’t know what’s going on in my brain right now. I feel Bad about Life and Myself but I can’t pinpoint what’s wrong
I don’t like who I am. I want to be everything I’m not (popular, cool, responsible, funny, have real issues to be sad about, sensitive in a not stupid way, smart with human emotions, productive, and everything I can’t think of right now)
God I’m just so tired of existing in this human vessel. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want to die but I don’t like being human or being me. I’m just tired I need to sleep -
that was a lot wow
i did my music assessment and in music assessments you get filmed by your teacher's crappy ipad and everyone in your group has to be quiet and watch while you play and i had played everything perfectly beforehand so i was like "ok i can do this" but i mucked up three times and just broke down afterwards -
my music teacher said "alexi, i'm going to put you out of your misery and tell you that it will be an A overall. your tone has improved so much since last term, that high register has gotten easier for you, and your notes are so much warmer now. it was only a few little mistakes, and i'm really proud of you" I'm gonna crash she's so nice
then another group walked in and a dude was complaining about his grades and she was like "ask your teacher where you went wrong, i promise you we're not monsters. i really respect people who ask me where they went wrong instead of leaving it" then winked at me. she's my favourite teacher and actually cares so much i love her -
I’m so useless
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All I did today was doomscroll
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I hope he’s alright
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Hot take but we’ve seen the power religion can have over a society throughout the entirety of history, religion thrives off of fear which can be easily proved so why are more and more people in power basing the beliefs of the government off of religious beliefs and why are we believing it’s not because they just want more power (cough America cough Afghanistan cough any theocracy)
Most theocracies are tyrannical or violate human rights so why haven’t we connected the dots yet -
I hope he’s just grounded again and nothing happened. I’m probably just overthinking but I hate being helpless and unable to nag my friends
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Jeez I forgot how much roleplaying on here distracts my thoughts. I need a constant creative outlet and roleplaying here is my everyday writing practice
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It’s a bad OCD night tonight
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every therapist ever is like "journal your thoughts and what you're paranoid about" no that makes it become real and actually exist and become a real thought
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I’m so sorry, I’m okay, but I can only go online when I’m home alone, so I can only be on here about once a week, but I’m completely fine, sorry for worrying you
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It’s okay it’s not your fault lol, it sucks your parents are getting more strict tho, I’m glad you’re fine
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I do think that makes fears/paranoias real. Im going trough similar s--- rn, I mean that I understand and am here if you need to talk. Belive in yourself, you're worth it. And don't hyperfixate on bad things, let/get them out and move on. Gud nite ^u^
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