alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
-
Leaving that on page 71
I had another crashout. I’m so unstable rn. All I’ll do tomorrow is sleep -
I’m somewhat ok now. I just need to recharge and not think about tHaT
-
The lonely feeling mostly went away. Now it’s just me being a failure lolz
-
Tonight I remembered why I don’t do movie nights with my family
-
I was stupid to think it was go differently tonight
-
I’m not my mother. I’m not my mother. I’m not my mother. I’m not my mother
-
In a few years, I’ll move out. I’ll go to a university that’s far away. I’ll live on campus. I’ll get a degree and publish a book. I’ll work around for a while, get settled down south, and I’ll be happy with a wife and a kid or two and a cat and a published book series and maybe even a musical. I just need to get through these next few years and everything will be ok.
-
I’m going to sleep. I need to stop thinking for a bit. I might delete my playlist tomorrow if nobody finds interest in it because it’s not like this is my worst interaction with my mother
-
My mum is still in a mood so idk if I want to go to the thing with her today
-
My dad is also in a mood so I can’t go with him
-
They also won’t stop talking about the election which is the one thing I don’t want to think about
-
Albanese won. Yipee
The only reason I’m glad about having to go to two very long rehearsals in two days is because I won’t have to deal with my grandma and I won’t have to deal with my parents’ moods. It’ll be over in a few days but ugh can they just stop being angry -
I wish my life was like that
I want it to be a movie. I want to be the main character and I want to overcome some great obstacle and do cool things and be treated the way I’ve been wanting to be treated for years
But I just can’t. I have panic attacks instead of going on ziplines and I’m not good enough to have those amazing, close friendships I want to have and I get so burnt out so easily instead of constantly being able to hang out and do cool things with friends
But my life just isn’t like that. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like so I try to force it to be the way other people have theirs but I just can’t -
Like seriously what is my life supposed to be
I want it so badly. I want very close friends and I want to be the main character and to be important and to be living a movie with drama that I don’t cry about and everything working out -
Like what am I supposed to do all day. What are my interests that make me cool and interesting. How do I actually be neurodivergent because everyone says I am but I feel like I’m not doing it right. How am I supposed to talk. How to make friends. Everyone’s been given a script on who they’re supposed to be and what they’re doing, who their friends are and their interests and they’re all somehow the main characters, but it feels like I’m a side character in my own story and I have no idea what I’m doing because I didn’t go to rehearsals
Post a reply as a guest or Log In
REMEMBER:
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
