A Nightmare in the Alley Part One | Comments

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  • It was pretty good, but it would have been nice with a little more detail. Remember to show, not only tell, my concern was mostly the last paragraph where you could have included the discussion rather than having the main character listing off what they talked about. Well, unless you're fast-forwarding on purpose to get to a more important scene in which case my concern is invalid and you shouldn't listen to me XP

    I'd love to see what will follow up in following parts, so do continue :)

  • This was really great! I really enjoyed reading it and can't wait till part 2 is released! Don't bring yourself or story down because you wrote it very well and I want to hear more soon. :D 10/10

  • I think this was pretty good, I'm disappointed because I hoped it would be longer, but don't worry, that's a good thing. Make part two soon!

  • Sorry it's so short! I know you were hoping for something longer. I promise I'll try to make part two longer! :D

  • Great story and REALLY well written.

  • That waz gr8!!!! :D hurry up wid part 2 plz ^_^


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