I don't feel well. I just don't. They aren't making my soundness easy to retrieve, either.
I just don't feel to stable, and I need to find a way to change this. But I'm not sure what I can do in myself.
If I can't find help, I'm stuck like this. I have no way to reach out to anyone else about it so I can get real help.
All I can do is take it.
I actually don't mind when people refer to me as "they/them" because I'll take it if they're not aware of my gender. I also don't mind them mistaking me to be a "he/him" either, because I understand why they would. But, no, I'm still a "she/her".
It's only offensive to call me "he/him" if they good and well know I'm a girl.
My family tries to be everything for me, and I don't mean that in a sweet way. They try to be my friends, cousins, aunts, uncles--everything, and they claim it's alright for it to be this way, but it's not!
I'm never able to get out and see anyone for myself because that's not what they want.
I feel like shutting down on everyone and everything.
There's just no point in anything.
If I do this, they'll complain, but only because they use me to clean up after them and do whatever they're too lazy to do.
They won't miss me for me. Just for what I do.
I feel so cynical, but I'm not too far off.
Everyone always wants something from me, whether I'm able to give it or not. And if I'm not, they move along and never interact with me again.
So, my life and what I'm here for? I don't know. But what I do? I'm just here to suffer for other's enjoyment and watch myself fall apart.