In addition to those two tests that I just took, I have projects that need finishing. Two for Lit class, one is an annotated bibliography for a literary criticism essay that's due sunday at midnight (got the whole weekend, doubt I'll finish it) and another project called the human condition project (basically a video project, I asked my teacher if it was okay if I animated/drew the photos instead of taking pictures, and she said it was fine 👌 kinda looking forward to that but like.. if I wanna continue goretober, I doubt I'll be able to do the video project at a level my perfectionism ass wants it to be at. I might have to drop goretober.. which will absolutely break my heart, because I already had to drop it last year. Somehow, from the depths of Hell, I mucked up the time to do mermay, so why can't I do goretober???? It's so frustrating, like you cannot believe how frustatrating it is. One of these days I'm either gonna become the richest woman in the world, or I'll yeet myself off of a 69 story rooftop. Whichever comes first.
I'm literally soooooo tired but I wanna do goretober soooo bad, and I'm already behind because I haven't inked today's and yesterday's. Day 1 and 2 are inked, but they aren't colored. I'm ejeiduthiriwwodnne wjsieueirl
Eventually I'm gonna be like "fůck it" and draw all the goretober drawings hella chibi in order to save time (now that I think about it, that's how mermay was at the beginning) maybe as I get more into it it'll be easier to draw at my usual art style
Since we're on the subject of venting, I drew this at 2am sometime a few days ago :
Blood warning I guess? It's just a nosebleed though.
The shirt says "simply bleesed" because apparently my 2am mind can't comprehend how to spell blessed
Another vent drawing, this one drawn at 4am perhaps a week or two ago :
This one- even more of a gore warning because marked upper arms along with a black eye along with a nosebleed (I'm dunno why I'm incorporating so many nosebleeds into vent art, it's actually a medical thing that happens to me personally whenever it's too stuffy or humid)
Underside note: I was absolutely unproductive this weekend, I didn't even start on the lit thing even though it's due in under 10 minutes..
Honestly? I dunno, I kind of feel great. Like, I'm not stressing about it. I've never felt so free!! Sometimes you just gotta not do an assignment. Probably bad for my grade, but I should remember that grades aren't everything!! I've never felt as stressed as I did last Friday, and now I'm calm as ever, and it's all because I've renounced responsibility entirely, atleast for just this one assignment. I'll finish it tomorrow ahaha
I just got back from the homecoming dance and my feet hurt like HELL.
Like, seriously, my feet were hurting in those heels before I even left the house, but then my dumb--- decided to wear them for most of the night (I took them off ONCE, and only for like 5 minutes before putting them back on again)
Aside from that, lemme tell you about my dancing, another reason every time I take a step pain shoots through my entire being.
I barely have any friends, I came to this new school only a few months ago. Therefore, I didn't hang out much with a group or anything (I saw people, we hung for a few minutes, and then I was off. Never stuck to one group, mostly on my own the entire night) but I didn't CARE.
My personality is equivalent to that of a drunk person smh
I can't tell you the amount of times people have literally asked if I was drunk or if I was okay ir if someone spiked my water!
Wanna know why they asked? Ohhoho~
Twice and twice.
I danced outside, in the middle of the court yard with no music, on my own, one two occasions! People were confused, some were supportive, some were like "Tamara what are you doing- literally everyone is looking at you", but I danced twice, each time for a solid 10 minutes at least.
And then the other twice.
You know those things were a circle forms around a really good dancer and everyone's like "AYYYYE, AYYYYYYYYE"? Well, I formed two of those ahaha! I may not have much confidence but lemme tell you that I OWNED that dance floor
I had to have had atleast 7 or 8 bottles of water in the span of the 3 hours that the dance lasted haha..
Unfortunately, I don't have a video of my dancing (lots of people recorded of course, but I never asked anyone for their name or social media because- socializing??? Uhh, what's that?)
But I do have selfies of the outfit I wore!! I was a gay queen, just for tonight, and I felt great, even without many friends around me! I've never felt this way :) my self esteem will probably plummet tomorrow to balance out this boost, but for now I have the confidence of a drag queen! (Speaking of drag queen, that's kinda how my style of dancing was, according to one of my friends)