TEAM VPAS
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: TEAM VPAS
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I'm really really sorry but I just don't have time right now, and...well, that's all I can say. But I promise I'll help out on the next one, otherwise you can vote me out. Okay?
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I would, but I honestly can't write romance anything.
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THIS IS NOT THE FINAL DRAFT. I just wrote this, and would like to know if this might be okay. We can change it though.
I was just barely six when I met him, yet I can still remember the day as if it were yesterday. My neighbor had just moved, and the new family was unpacking their cars and moving trucks. The sun was blazing down on us as my family and I walked over to greet ourselves, and that's when I saw him. It should have been silly-it was silly- to get a crush on someone at the age of six, when I didn't even know his name, yet it happened, and my crush on him had only grown.
I was twelve when we first kissed, and I'm not quite sure on how it all happened. We were at the park, feeding the ducks bread like we always do to pass the time on a Saturday evening. We had just threw the last of our loaf into the clear, shimmering pond, and had gone over to sit on a bench exactly five feet from our favorite tree, and that's when it happened. One moment I was gazing into his beautiful hazel eyes, and in the next, our lips were pressed together. It was brief, and couldn't have lasted more than a couple seconds, but it still made my heart flutter, and my face red.
I was eighteen, and we were going to separate colleges. We were just four hours away, but my heart still yearned for him each day we weren't together. I thought I would explode from the anticipation of waiting when he would drive down to see me, or I would drive to him. In a way, I think the separation did us some good. It was at this moment that we realized we didn't want to be with anyone else.
I was twenty two, and he took me to that old bench by the pond in the park. We talked for hours, telling each other stories about our college experiences, and then we fed the ducks before sitting back down again, except he didn't sit. He knelt in front of me with a tiny black box in one hand, and asked me to be his wife. We married the following year.
I was twenty four, and had just given birth to a baby girl. We were both very excited. Two months later, he got a call, and a date to mark on our calendar. Exactly one year and three months to the day: on our anniversary.
I am twenty five, and it was the most horrible day. I'm a single mother due to cancer, and had just sent him six feet in the ground. He lasted one day after the death date. I now sit in that old bench with my child, doing what I had always done with him on a Saturday evening: feed the ducks bread. -
ha death
I like. Will help as much as can. -
I agree with this, though improve the ending, it was weak. JUST TRYING TO HELP. Thank you!! And I'm sorry!!
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Did it really?
Oh yes, death.
You have to elaborate more on that instead of saying "it was weak". How was it weak? And how can it be stronger? -
OMG THANK YOU MEGAN
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Can I post mines also?
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Yeah, of course. I wanna read it.
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Okay, guys, there is a time limit on this, and I think we should decide on what to do.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
