Ting and I have finally decided to tell the story,
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: Ting and I have finally decided to tell the story,
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You really want to hear this? Alright, but just remember that you asked for it because I am not paying for therapy kiddo.
So I was coming home again from the national guard because it turns out they dont like it when you throw up tequila shooters on the obstacle course. YEAH WELL PUT IT THE MANUAL DOUCHE BAGS! So I get back to our apartment and find all the furniture gone. Your moms gone. I check the bank accounts; totally empty. I check the room for bodies, wipe my fingerprints off the phone and door knob and I get the hell out.
I get out and I file for divorce. 3 months later she calls me and says she wants to see me one last time, and sweet heart I go Because your mom was sexy. She could do this thing with her leg and the nightstand, where, well never mind. Just remember, Dont make fun of circus people. So we start talking and I realize that things are getting hot and heavy and I think to myself, Alright Im going to drop the hog- Actually, you probably dont know what that means so Ill clean it up for your tender sensibilities.
Im. Getting. Ready. To. Do. Your. Mom.
And so we start going at it. Just really great angry love making. But its your mom so of course Im palming a blade And in the middle of it sweetie, I mean Im knee deep, her new girlfriend, this little writer chick starts banging on the front door. Ting, why you doin this to me? Why you doin this to me?
Now I figure I can stop, and be offended. Or I can get louder and become the offender. So I start screaming it at her, Yeah, the way you want it girl. Yeah thats what a real man feels like. Hey! Write about this fruit cup! Heres a direct quote from the main character, AWWW YEAAHHH!!!
So I finished up, found my shirt and zipped my fly and I walked out. As I walked past the front door, she was standing there crying. So I got to do your mom one last time, and I made her new girlfriend cry. It was a two-for-one.
Three weeks later she called me and said she was pregnant with you. Alice, you were conceived during hot revenge sex. -
Never Love Newbie...I got a boner reading that.....
just kidding I'm a chick XD -
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I think I'm scarred for life._.
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I...don't really know what to say.....xD
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This is the most awkward thing I've read in a while.
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That's beautiful..XD
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Awkward-creepy-wtf.
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Belieber4666 NewbieMy guy friend would probably have a boner. And want to have s3x with me.
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BEST STORY.
Ever. :') -
Glad you liked it kiddo. I'm bringing it back to the front page so more of our friends can hear the story.
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;~; Amazing!
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LMFAO
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:') That was beautiful. . . and disturbing. o.e
That's probably how my siblings were born seeing as my parents broke up after me. *Cough*SELENA*cough*
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