Ummmmmmmmm...

Thread Topic: Ummmmmmmmm...

  • avatar
    Samus Aran Newbie
    So, um...when I was 15, I kinda had a huge obsession on this guy who was watching me while I was away from home. He was much older than me. Like, almost 30 though he acted 18. I don't know why, but I just liked him so much.
    Well, I realize that's not the only time something like that has happened. I don't like anyone so much older than me at the moment, but it's happened off and on.
    Is this...um...bad???
    I think what seriously developed this was that boys my age are generally immature and don't really care, but the older ones seem more caring and actually have the best interests at heart.
    Still, I'm not sure if this is an okay thing to feel. And I'm just a bit concerned whether or not this could be harmful for me to be this way.
    I know I'm still capable of feeling this, even though I don't right now.
  • avatar
    Keyboard Junior
    I mean I’m fine with it but other people might find it weird idk
  • avatar
    Does it even have a name? I mean, I know there's a name for adults who like children, but...if it's the other way around???
    I didn't even know this could happen until then.
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Senior
    Honestly I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It does sound like what you're actually attracted to is a guy who's just more mature. (And I definitely understand that because most guys my age need some help.) My advice would just be to wait a few more years until you're older and when the guys your own age start to mature. Then you'll be able to see if you actually just want a mature boy, or if you actually like older men.

    Side note, relationships aren't just about maturity level. If you do go after an older man, you're both going to be at completely different stages in life, which will make it hard to relate with one another. He might be worrying about his career, starting a family, etc. etc. Whatever middle aged men think about. And then you'll be someone who's thinking about college and finding your identity and finding out how to adult. You'll just be at different stages. And I think these are thoughts to keep in mind when looking at older men. So many things that are NOT attractive. Just not being able to relate.

    So I mean I think it's an okay thing to feel. Not really an okay thing to act on if you're a minor. And not necessarily a smart thing to do either since you'll both be different people with different goals. But I mean age is just a number (if you're both legal age).
  • avatar
    That actually helps a lot. Thank you.
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Senior
    No problem
    I hope I made some sort of sense lol
  • avatar
    Shattered Glass Advanced
    Be mindful if you do decide to date someone who has an age gap over you. Adults are capable of twisting the narrative and making you feel like it's a healthy relationship when it's not. Trust me, I'd know. I got some criticism when I dated someone who was 7 years older than me. Turned out they weren't the saint I painted them to be.
  • avatar
    Raiden Ripper Novice
    Okay.
    It was just on my mind today, and I couldn't stop wondering about it.
  • avatar
    Shattered Glass Advanced
    I totally understand.

    Because I have been attracted to older men, I don't think it's all that terrible? Just as long as you keep safety in mind. When you throw caution to the wind because "omg hot guy", that's when it becomes 'bad'. If that makes any sense.
  • avatar
    Raiden Ripper Novice
    XD
    I get it. Thank you so much.
  • avatar
    ello Senior
    i've had to deal with similar.. people. they were always older, but not by much (8 years most). some or them the person wanted to get sexual, others they didn't. in the heat of the moment, it seems fun and great, but please be careful. people who like people much younger tend to manipulate them into doing whatever they want

    this might seem disorganized, but i think you get it maybe?
  • avatar
    Raiden Ripper Novice
    I get it.
    I appreciate your input.

Log in to post or Get your free account