abstinance

  • Locked due to inactivity on Mar 17, '19 3:54am

Thread Topic: abstinance

  • avatar
    Faceless Knight Experienced
    i know that some of yall got pretty emotional last time i brought up this topic but lets try to keep it civil this time.

    i personally think that nobody should have sex before marriage. i don't think that people should be banned from having sex before marriage or anything. i just think that it's bad for your future marriage if you have sex before marriage. the chance you'll get a divorce goes up massively if you have sex before marriage. plus there's the small risk that you could get an std or get pregnant if you're female. but in the end what ya do with your life and how you want to treat sex is up to you. i just think people should know what i think the more important risk of premarital is.
  • avatar
    Night_Owl Advanced
    I kind of went all over on this; good luck.

    So, I grew up Catholic and have always been taught that my body is a temple and that having sex before marriage is a sin and I will go to hell if I do it thanks Catholic Church. However, when I deviated from Catholicism (I consider myself more spiritual now), I thought that I would be like "I can have a lot of sex before marriage now because I'm not Catholic," however, that's not the case.
    I am still a virgin and I'm perfectly happy with being one, and I plan on being one for a while (also would like to point out that I'm in my early twenties, so it is totally possible to remain a virgin at this age even though I think nowadays a lot of people my age aren't). My thoughts on sex are that I will not do it unless if I am 100% comfortable with the person and I know that I can trust them with every little thing.
    The risks of getting stds and having an unplanned pregnancy are very real. I feel like a lot of people nowadays are like "yeah, but if you use a condom then you're safe," which isn't necessarily the case because condoms don't work 100% of the time and disease can still spread y'all. So, for me personally, I will not have sex with someone unless if I know that they are free of all diseases and I know that we both love each other and are planning on getting married and I absolutely trust him (which is going to take a while because I don't really trust people easily like that). As well as if he is not willing to respect my wishes and wait, then he can go somewhere else because he's not going to respect me and love me in the way that I deserve, which raises the chance that he will bolt if something happens, and I'm not here for that.
    That being said, I don't go around shaming people that have one night stands or if they sleep with every partner they've had a relationship with because it is their life and they can do whatever they want. But if something does happen like an std or unplanned pregnancy and they start complaining about it and start saying things like "how could this happen? We used a condom/another contraceptive" then imma be annoyed because y'all should've known that this could've happened, but I will be supportive in helping them get the care they need.

    Basically: y'all should've listened in health class/educate yourself.
  • avatar
    Magie Magic Hot Shot
    Well actually it’s a good idea to have sex before marriage. Think about it, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you need to know them. That includes knowing what they’re like in the bedroom.
  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Actually you get to know a person best through the three F's

    Fighting
    Following (brotherhood or sisterhood)
    f---ing
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Senior
    ^ wow

  • avatar
    I don't like how it abstinence was the only thing taught in the sex ed portion of my health class. I was taught nothing about contraceptives, protection. plan B, what to do if you suspect you have an STD or STI, abortion, none of it. I was taught "Just don't it, and you'll be fine." That's not right.
  • avatar
    **how abstinence
  • avatar
    Night_Owl Advanced
    Sounds like you didn't go to a very good school then. Because in 2/3 of my health classes (we had to take one in 6th grade in which we learned about the body itself and even had to take a test in which we identified every single bone in the body (it was really hard and I don't think anyone passed), 8th grade, and then one in high school as well), we were taught about sex. And while they said it is better to wait, they still taught us about what to do if we have it before. Like in 8th grade we learned how to put a condom on (even learning how to insert a condom if you're female) and how our bodies react/that feel-good chemical gets released. And then in high school, we learned about stds and what each one looks like and that if we have one then we should go to the doctor and they'll prescribe us medicine depending on the std, but we were warned that any std starting with H is incurable and we'll have it for life. And then they also said it was better to wait because there is a chance that when you have multiple partners, you could unknowingly be spreading a disease (especially if you're a guy because I want to say that it's HIV that doesn't have any symptoms for males, so they don't even know if they have it), and they said that if we do become sexually active, then we should go get tested frequently if we have multiple partners.
  • avatar
    I live in the south, and that's just how it is here, not saying it's right at all because I completely disagree with the teaching. Your school is doing the right thing, and it's the proper education about the dangers of sex and how to protect yourself that will bring the rates of STI's and STD's down.
  • avatar
    Faceless Knight Experienced
    yeah, abstinence only sex ed doesn't work out well. but what are your thoughts on abstinence as a personal choice?
  • avatar
    It really depends on the situation. Sex is often used as a coping mechanism, and that isn't healthy and can create more problems, such as maybe an unwanted pregnancy, an STI or STD, relationship issues, additional mental health issues, and other things you can probably guess. I also don't like the hookup culture and having sex with strangers then never seeing them again. It doesn't feel right. For me personally, if you are mature (and being a teenager and thinking you love someone because your one kiss was magical and they have the same personality does not qualify), sex is great. You don't have to be married. A committed relationship is just as good. I honestly think trust, healthy communication skills, and full knowledge about what you're doing and the possibilities repercussions are all you need. And of course be old enough.
  • avatar
    **being
  • avatar
    **possible
    I need to start reading over my stuff. lol
  • avatar
    Br0wnieBunny Expert
    abstinence or lack of abstinence is something i don't think should be held against anyone. it's their own personal choice what they decide to do with their body and i think it's cool to give advice and all, like "maybe you shouldn't have sex with him because he may leave you after" that's fine, but policing other people's decisions is wrong.
  • avatar
    Br0wnieBunny Expert
    i also went to school that only taught about abstinence. sex education was something i had to look up and learn on my own because i still had so many questions. personally for me, i'm saving myself for someone who i think is special and who i love. i don't agree with losing your virginity to just anyone because it's a big thing, but like i said, it's not my decision to make.

This thread is locked. You may not post.