Surrender Part 3 | Comments

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  • LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. The effort you put into today's part really shined through and I totes to the max loved it. The whole idea is spectacular and I so did not think that would happen. Of course I knew something strange was bound to be in this story but that? THAT IS SO ORIGINAL AND JUST UGH I LOVE IT TO SHREDS RIGHT NOW. This reminds me of a book but I can't remember it. They had a number of species that play different roles and mixed species were to be hunted and banned and just I'm so in love right now.

    To be honest, I don't really like Jared. As in the love like. I'm not totally comfortable with him as a love option. Those guys I tend to stay away from both in real life and in stories. They're just so nice and all you can do is break their hearts over and over again. I just hope nothing wrong happens and tears them apart. Guys like Jared should just stay friends. You know, you took my advice very well except I do have one teeny thing. STREEETCH IT OUT JUST A TEENY BIT MORE. I do feel that it slowed but it's still a bit rushed even though it's not. I think you need to put more detail in the characters and exactly what their doing. Playing with their blonde hair, texting a friend all those small details just really make me enjoy it even more. Or pay attention to the way they look at you, the color of their eyes, the way they fiddle their hands. All of those are extremely important to me.

    You are doing such a such a great job and the way you just seem to put in so much effort and it really pays off and it's I'm so in love right now omfg. Like the whole concept, the characters, and the way you just KEEP ON IMPROVING. I am ashamed of myself right now since you're just sooo good. AND YOU UPDATE SOOO FAST. But then I was like that too when I first started it's just like a honeymoon period idk I guess. ILY.

  • Let's just say... I was not expecting that! XD Both the last part and this part, whoa. Sounds interesting, though (and I'm rethinking Jared; he's cute and sweet x) ) Now Mrs. Hill and Frankie remind me of the "His dark materials" series by Philip Pullman because the witches there all have separatable daemons, which are basically like their souls. Hmm I wonder what the 5 species of powerful beings are, and how niiice the suitors will be. All will be answered in due time I guess xD I think you're doing a good job with this (I like the developing characterizations), but the only thing I wish was that it was longer! However, I guess it makes up for number of paragraphs by the length of each paragraph, and what makes up for the shortness is also the rate at which you can release these, which is nice, so I guess what I'm saying is either make it longer or don't, it's great either way XD can't wait to see part 4


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