A Twisted Love 2 | Comments

I think you have a good plot line, but to me these first two parts of your story moved way too fast. I like the boys, you've done that well, but maybe take it slower next time. Be more detailed and give us more of a background to her life and emotional family connections so it really triggers the feelings of the reader's hearts. It seemed to me like one minute she was at school and the next she was told she was immortal. Writing takes practice and I think if you try really hard, this story can be a masterpiece. c: You can check out my series if you like sometime, called I Just Need You Here.

good starting. Anyways why do most people in story wear glasses?