alexithymia
Thread Topic: alexithymia
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Why am I doomscrolling instead of doing something productive
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I could be spending my hour of free time drawing right now. Or packing my bag for the show. Or anything that’s just not doomscrolling
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I’m going to start styling my hair for the show. Then dinner. Then maybe my mother can do my makeup, I can’t do eyeliner on my own.
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Lipstick on a pig
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I really need to stop picking at my skin
It’s been getting bad lately and my skin is really pale so the red stands out
I hatehatehate wearing makeup my bones are itchy and I want to peel off the top layer of my skin
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I am NOT pinning my hair up. My fringe is my safety blanket I am not exposing my big ahh pimply forehead to the world I am ugly
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I am going to snap at any moment I swear
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I’m going to have a lot to talk about with my therapist on Tuesday
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I could’ve been rocking out with my friends but instead I was trying to ground myself with block blast in the corner. Nobody noticed I wasn’t in the big cast photo. This is what I mean when I’m nobody’s somebody
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My life never mattered, so who cares if it’s a waste?
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I don’t understand why people hate me. I’m really trying to be good at sport and to socialise and to be likeable to everyone. I don’t understand why everyone in my PE class finds my existence funny
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I’m so f---ing sorry
I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all
But some day I’ll be perfect and I’ll make up for it all -
In another universe, everything is perfect. People are nice and I’m good at everything and politics don’t exist and everything is perfect and nice and awesome. I’m in the universe where 80% of things suck, but somewhere out there there’s a universe where everything is perfect and I’m happy
Nothing matters. Maybe I’ll get killed off soon -
The amount of tea spilled today omg
One of the super homophobic rude girls who despises me was in the FRONT ROW of the show today and I was like to my friends “oh s--- bro she hates me” and literally all of my friends hate her because she’s rude, openly homophobic, very very petty in a bad way, and didn’t clap the entire show but was too scared to say anything
I wonder how she felt when the character Harry was like “everyone has a true love. There’s Sophie and Sky, but there’s also me and Nigel~~~” and the entire cast was like “OHHHHH makes sense I KNEW IT” -
I hate the way I look
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