I am a loser who

Thread Topic: I am a loser who

  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    🙃 I can’t remember the password for my main account

    In rl and dealing w addiction + this site

    Great news I live in washington now but you know what no one ever told me

    That this state is always ducking cloudy

    Which I mean I don’t mind bc like it’s better that living in my previous state where your face melts off if you walk outside you know

    I also got successfully transferred over to the college of my choice which I know better now that I’m 19 to not announce to the internet bc doing that is wack

    I won’t be posting religiously on here like 13 year old me did but

    I’ll be on and off I’m kind of busy with moving in but I’m also kind of lonely bc I have no friends rn

    I still smoke cigarettes but I no longer drink like a madman like I did in 2018 during parties

    I still don’t have a job but I’m hoping to get one on campus because my savings are running low.

    Honestly it’s really nice to walk outside and be able to not melt it’s fantastic.
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    I spent 5 months away from this site I am v proud.

    It’s kind of sad to see that this site is even more dead than it was in 2018 and it’s scary bc what if it shuts down like vampire freaks.com
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    IT HAS BEEN 9 days since someone posted in the study

    What

    Dude no I remember when that, the front porch, the stage, and the ballroom were active every hour or so this is so depressing

    It’s probably bc everyone who was around grew up and the only ones who are still on here are all the users who have no commitment to leaving bc they’re attached to this place and made memories here

    Mood
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    Oh and mods bc they need to do their mod work.

    Where are the mods

    Hi mods

    Guys I forgot to tell you I have a girlfriend now

    She lives in Italy

    She a snack
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    She is going to come to America next year as a foreign exchange student hopefully and she’s also majoring in engineering

    Look at me moving on from Lydia while Lydia continues to make s---ty posts about me and how I messed her up badly because I am the definition of a non committed f---

    Yeah sure leave out the part where you emotionally and verbally abused me on and off for the duration of our relationship and cheated on me more than once
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    Anyway I met this girl on reddit on the pen pal subreddit

    We have been together for ... f--- when did we start a relationship

    I think it was June 16th? But we started talking since January

    She’s 19 and she’s a smoll soft girl which is different than the usual metal tattoos, piercings, dyed choppy haired girl but maybe what I need is change because clearly those haven’t worked out for me

    Um I’m also in an emotional better state now. Like I literally have never had better mental health than right now.

    Dude my life is going great. All I need is a job and I’m ready to go
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    Y’all know what I’ve been doing?

    I’ve been doing the thing u told me to do with the protein shakes and the weights and I was sore and bruised at first but for 4 months everyday bc gyms = shelter when you have no actual plan of shelter

    Kermit the frog arms? Don’t know them now I have normal nice kinda addicted to coke looking but still normal width looking arms and have a normal BMI for my body height.

    I think that’s why I actually look like a guy, mind you maybe a 17/18 year old one

    But at least I don’t look as scrawny as before I can’t thank this forum enough

    I am h a p p y
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    Reading that back I sound like a good for nothing jobless homeless bum

    Okay I was for like a month because it’s a new state what do you expect me to do I was lost and confused and uncomfortable

    But like normally I am a functional human being with a retail job a dorm a car some side savings and a college tuition

    I just threw all that away to get a new start in a new state
    You feel me?

    So out of that checklist

    I have a car
    A motel room/ dorm
    College in a few weeks

    All I need:

    Job :(

    So no the girl that is dating me is not dating s bum I just need to get settled fully and by the time she gets here I will be stable and will be able to present myself as who I was In 2018 minus the party and alcohol and drug part yikes
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    f--- am I really what she deserves

    LMAO dude I just remembered why I didn’t want to come on here anymore because this forum is sad boy hours x4 to me

    Let me just stop right there.
  • avatar
    rvelez Hot Shot
    Yeah please stop
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    @ Aoife If u happen for some weird reason to be reading this hi I did not reply back to your email in May bc I transferred over that email account to the girl who worked on that project w me

    but also

    I stopped replying and contacting you bc even though when We talk via email I connect to you as a Bff kind of way platonically

    I knew that if I saw you in person I would cry and the feelings I had for you back in 2016 would come back and I’m not even going to lie during the first 3 months I dated Lydia I lowkey still did have feelings for you and like I previously mentioned I have an so rn and don’t want to mess things up w them so even though you’re my best friend and I really did want to meet you I avoided talking to you because it would mess me up bc the year and 2 months relationship we had has by far been the best year and relationship of my life

    I wish nothing but the best for you and maybe one day I will regret not meeting up with you but I’m sorry :( you’re a super sweet girl and I love you in the most unromantic waY. Hope you’re doing well!
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    Omg you’re still here
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    It’s hot the ac is broken but the internet is fast so it’s worth it

    I ironically downloaded TikTok to see if it was really vine two point o and it really is and that’s really cool it’s a good laugh

    Guess It’s unironic now
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    So this is going to be the first school year I will have my legal Jae name in my paperwork after the change and I’m excited.
  • avatar
    BloodOnMyHands Advanced
    The book 1984 is still my favorite book I found out pet fish are allowed in dorms and I’m ready to get a fish

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