The worst part about me being antisocial and uncomfortable with people is that I have no one to celebrate with. I'm going to be a senior this year, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I'll have to get all of my information about what's going on from the school website and flyers, because I don't have any friends that I can ask for that information from. And when graduation comes around, people aren't going to scream and cheer for me. They don't know who I am, nor do they care. And I can't even be mad about it, because it's probably my fault. I was too scared to get involved with people because they had their groups well before I came.
Some of those people are following me on Instagram, and I wish I had never let them follow me. I always see them with their friends, or them talking about how excited they are for senior year, etc. and I know I'm only on their page because they're into numbers. It's all about who has the most followers at C*****.
It's always been like this, though. I set myself up for failure back in elementary school, and I've been alone all of my life since then. (And then I wonder why I struggle to read emotions or tones with people I actually care about LOL)