This post is for anyone who happens to randomly think "Hey whatever happened to Hiccstrid?" and click on my profile and see this as my most recent post. Now you know.
This is a day with mixed emotions.
For one, it's my GTQ birthday. Four years ago, a 12-year-old girl created an account on this website and called it "Hiccstrid," for reasons beyond my comprehension. Four years ago, I had no idea that my life would have gone the way it did.
I'll be graduating college in five days. Four years ago I had only 12 college credits, now I have almost 124.
Four years ago, I was barely even a fan of HTTYD, now I'm a full-fledged Dragonite who's more obsessively devoted than ever before. Four years ago, Race to the Edge wasn't even out, now it's a six-season wonder that absolutely revolutionized my entire life.
But just as Cressida Cowell states over and over in the HTTYD books, fate is artistic. And my life is no exception. Fifteen months ago, I came back on Internet for two reasons only: to watch Season 6 of Race to the Edge, and to watch HTTYD 3 whenever it came out. I was able to see Season 6 almost right away, but I had to wait a bit longer for the third HTTYD movie.
Well, it just so happened that May 11, 2019, the day I finally watched HTTYD 3 in its entirety, was the exact same day that the iPhone I had been using started breaking. It had served its purpose. And now it's time to say goodbye.
So here I am today. Clearly this chapter in my life has come to an end. It was amazing while it lasted, and I can honestly say I never really took it for granted.
It's not entirely a bad thing to be losing Internet, though. Sure, saying goodbye is always hard, but you could say that GTQ and Internet in general have been a distraction for me. There are plenty of people in my life that I could reach out to more. Even just my nuclear family. Rather than complain about what jerks they are and how they ruined my life, etc., etc., I can at least try to be kind and compassionate to their mental instability and various other issues. I complain about being lonely, but really it's my fault I don't connect well with anyone in my personal life. Like Caspian said, "I've spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given." Maybe instead of focusing on everything I wish I had, I could invest more into what I do have. It's all a matter of perspective. So yes, I'm sad to leave again, but I'm also a little excited to see where my life will head next. I have a feeling that 2019 will be one of the hardest years of my life so far, but maybe also one of the best.
So this is it. I'll be going off the grid again for the time being, and I'll miss you all.
Paige and Lillie, you girls are absolute angels. I don't know why either of you wanted to be friends with someone like me, but I'm so thankful for you both. I love each of you so much, and I'll miss you two more than I can express.
Alex, Stardust (happy early GTQ birthday by the way!), Dawson, Jeeshan, Fluffy, Snipe, Cody, you guys have been great. I'll miss you and you'll be on my mind a lot.
Everyone else, I wish you all the best!
I don't believe I'll be gone forever. I've always come back before, so I'm sure I can do it again. Like Aslan says, "There will always be a way through," and I believe that with all my heart.
I find it only fitting to close with Together From Afar. Three minutes of your life you won't get back, but it's a beautiful and depressing song that really fits how I'm feeling right now.
Well, I guess that's it then. Until we meet again!
Hey peoples, just checking in to let y’all know I’m still alive (and to keep my thread from getting locked 😜). It’s hard to believe we’re already almost halfway through 2019! And I’m going to be 17 in a little over three months, but we won’t talk about that…😬
I hope you all are doing well. I’ve been doing okay, just very busy and very stressed, and my family is sort of on the verge of exploding at the moment. Good news is, I’ve been able to be a part of a different online website with some irl friends of mine, so that’s been keeping me from insanity.
Also, thank you SO MUCH, Paige and Fluffy, for keeping in touch with me. I feel like such a jerk trolling the two of you, so thanks for putting up with me. It really means a lot.
(For those who don’t know and who want to keep in contact with me for some weird reason, my email is viathevictor02[@]gmail.com. I try to check it somewhat regularly, though I’ve been bad about it lately…)
Other than that, just wanted to say hi to whoever’s reading this. I did end up graduating college btw, so this muttonhead has herself a Bachelor of Science, which is just total BS. (Y’ALL SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY I’VE WANTED TO MAKE THAT JOKE 😂)
Welp, that’s about it I guess. Thanks for existing! You guys rock!
Okay I was debating when I should post this, because it's long af so I don't want to do it when people are on.
I wrote a rant a couple days ago, and I need to post it on here so it can be semi-public, but still hidden from the wrong people. I don't expect anyone to read it. I just need to post it for personal reasons. Also, I'm really sorry for ignoring the folks I've been emailing on and off. You know who you are, and my life is just so turbulent right now that it's hard to think. That's what the rant is for. It's long, so I'll break it up into chunks or else I'll never be able to scroll to the bottom of this page, hehe
I need to rant.
And when I say rant, I mean vent all the s--- that’s been accumulating over the past two months. I literally haven’t told anyone about the things I’ve been feeling. It’s just been ripping me up on the inside and I’ve only been able to barely hint at it to people I think I can trust.
I know I’ve changed drastically. I quite honestly feel like I’ve been ripped up over the past few months. And that doesn’t even make sense because I haven’t gone through anything super traumatic, but I just need to get it out once and for all. Even if no one will read the hell I’m about to unleash.
I would start by saying “I hate my life,” but that wouldn’t be entirely true. I definitely don’t enjoy my life, but there are a lot of good parts to it, which only serve to torment me more. It’d be a lot easier to cope if it was just a complete living hell all the time. But no, it’s in that irritating middle ground where it’s neither total happiness nor total misery. Just general suckage.
Well, just start with the yak in the room I guess. I don’t even know how to explain this without giving the whole story, but basically a man has in a way, unofficially, sorta become a little like my stepdad. He’s not really, and no one else would see it that way, but that’s the best way I can describe it. And I f---ing hate the guy for it.
I hate my mom. I hate that no one else hates her. I hate that no one sees her for the f---ing b---- she is. She just works them all until they feel sorry for her and give her whatever the hell she wants. I hate what a dick she is to my dad. Sure, it’s not like my dad is that great of a person either, but he’s one hell of a lot better than she is. He at least tries to understand me and doesn’t just guilt me into doing what he wants.