look out you guys
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: look out you guys
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Seriously, though. Why can't I stop from ruining things from myself? I know I have self-control, but there are these urges I have to speak my mind. Which, clearly, is f---ed up beyond all repair.
I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but I have these voices or "thoughts" that get way out of hand and violent. Today someone cut my dad off while we were in the car. I secretly wanted him to ram that car in and hopefully smash up and kill those people. Yes. This isn't the first time this has happened. A lot of the time when I get pissed, I hope the person or thing that made me angry dies slowly and painfully, or something happens to them, like losing their limbs or being paralyzed. Most of the feeling is temporary and goes away after a couple hours and is usually shouldn't seem like that big of a deal, but I can't control it.
I also get offended extremely easily and feel helpless and want to cry whenever someone "burns" me or makes a good point in an argument. I feel like I'm not capable enough to match them and go into a bout of temporary depression and hope that delusions and daydreaming will help me feel better. I've considered self-harm and suicide but am too much of a wimp to try any of it.
My moods fluctuate way too often and I can go from happiness to anger to extreme bloodthirst. Or from contentment to sadness to despair. Sometimes I can go from sadness to happiness, but it's usually the other way around. I can't control these emotions and they can come randomly at any time, by any little thing that can just pop up out of no where. Like if I was really happy because someone made something for me, I can suddenly go to depression because someone else said that I wouldn't make a good moderator. Or when I think I did a good job on a drawing and suddenly it's insulted. It's the little things like this that can control my whole mood and day.
I'm also an extremely stressed out person and almost can't go one day without feeling a little bit of stress. Whether it's homework or something I forgot to do or even the fact that I have to go to school tomorrow. This will make my mood even worse.
I avoid people as much as I can in real life because they don't understand how I think. My parents or my family or the "friends" that I have can't help me. I'm anti-social and I isolate myself and I become embarrassed to share my thoughts with my real-life peers because then they'll think I'm weird.
I just...I'm more happy than I am sad, angry more than content. I have negative feelings most of the time. I don't feel like a good person. I feel horrible too much of the time. I try to say that everything will be okay and I'll try to be optimistic, but I'm always beat down by whatever is causing this. Why do I feel this way? -
I don't feel loved anymore..
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So suddenly I don't matter? Thank you. You've got someone who actually needs help here and then someone makes valentine cards and aaaaaah cool!!
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Nice! Well, f--- you guys, I'll go to bed and hopefully feel better tomorrow. I'll enjoy the day with my valentine and everything will be okay. Night.
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You should've checked your thread in the Study.
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-same thing as in Study
-replies in that thread
-is completely ignored
-they say "f--- you guys" like as if we weren't helping
--Therefore I must not exist -
I feel you,brown
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Ah! 'Bout time someone replies.
I've seen Appay's reply already.
All you said was that it was you 99.9% of the time...How do I reply to that? -
Thank you.
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Well, I was only trying to help. Because it's quite rude to say you're being ignored when two people have tried to help. And I just saw this, and I don't like my things being hated on, but that's OKAY because it's expected.
One moment while I read this a second time. -
Thanks for trying at leastI honestly don't know. but that justifies my point that much more; I don't exist -
It was nice of you to make those and I do like them, but when I legit need help over here and suddenly this gets bumped down and everybody was still on, just waiting for something "more exciting", and when it does happen, they all flock to it. Like, help a brother out, please. Not trying to throw shade at you.
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If you don't exist, you wouldn't be here, typing. You're typing and living and breathing. Therefore, you exist.
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What if I'm just a virus that just seems like a person
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Well it seems normal to me but I suppose you're looking for a detailed and in-depth paragraph, which I don't have the communication skills for.
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