My writing is getting worse. .-.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:29pm
Thread Topic: My writing is getting worse. .-.
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Latest attempt:
"Love, if you don't go to sleep soon, I'm not going to be joining you in bed tonight," Andi said late one night. A distressed red head was trying to beat a video game. The clock read 11:23 in bright red numbering. "I'm serious. I know how you can't sleep without cuddling me, but I'm more than prepared to force you to go alone."
Jillian looked up from the screen, hurt in her eyes. "You're so mean.. I thought you loved me. Can't you let me miss just one more night of sleep? I'm so close to finishing this game!" She turned her attention to the screen once more. Andi sighed, shaking her head. Almost angrily, she hissed, "You said that five nights ago. Listen to yourself! Your grades are dropping, and as far as I'm concerned, your health is worse than some sick old guy's health." "I'm offended that you're comparing me to an old guy." -
THAT WAS AWESOME WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE KIDDING
Your writing is only getting better if anything. -
I think its good
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I'm kidding myself. I don't like it, it's too bland. And it starts off right in the middle of something. It's not eye catching, if anything it's horrible.
No. .-. -
You don't know jack s--- about writing if you can't use apostrophes and periods. However, I'll take the encouragement and shut my trap.
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Intresting.
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I can't write 4 s--- so I mean
It's really good though! -
Don't be so hard on yourself. However, the background is a bit bland. For constructive criticism, I think you could use a time and place that isn't used too often. Something tasteful. Unique. Different.
How about a ball/castle in the 18th century? Jillian can find her one true love, Andi, in the dance and they get married by the force of their money, making them the first same gender couple in that time. Or you know, something a little more altered.
You're doing good. My writing is definitely a whole lot worse than yours, and you have an advantage by possessing the desire for that type of talent. You wanna be an author someday. You have to start somewhere. Don't give up your dreams. Discouraging yourself doesn't help. -
..Interesting?
Hm. but that's so much work xD
I dislike all of the dumb words. ewe I need bigger and more confusing words to make it smart. #Dark logic -
Honestly, balls and castles aren't unique anymore since they are used often in romance stories. Very well known ones.
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I dislike that mainly because I prefer working with things in the future or things in the present. It's hard for me to make everything all 18th century or whatever. xP
Discouragement seems to help me, tho. -
ewwwwwwwwwwwwww no copyright
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Yes. its interesting Dark.
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Yes, Shido, but most castles and balls are used to be in the modern time stories.
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guys
i'm going to post my first ever smutt story
and I'm going to revise it
tell me which one you prefer better
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