A little long love story part 1 | Comments

I definitly agree with Firey Soul. It went way too fast, and would be better with more description and dialogue. Sorry, I didnt understand what that fly thing was all about... well, I'd say you have potential, you just need to know how to use it! I'll read part 2, and if you want any ideas or anything, go ahead and take my love series I Just Need You Here :)

Eh, this was okay... there's not much of a plot line to it. Perhaps make it more detailed and give more background information. Maybe also use first person? I think your writing will sound better that way.

Definitely agree with FireySoul and Ardeo9999