The Laugh Out Loud Quiz

These are the best jokes I have heard in one day. Hopefully you understand/like them. Do note that some of these are a little classy, meaning that there's some polititicial jokes in here and all. If you get offended easily, then don't continue.

These are still some of my favorite jokes. Good luck making sense of them.

Created by: amazon

  1. A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.' The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ***! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars,' 'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy. The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something... You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?' 'No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy. The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?' Again Leroy said no. Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?' Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'
  2. 'Google has announced that they're going to give free Internet access in airports all across the country. It's fantastic! Up until now, the only way to see something p---ographic at an airport was to follow a senator into the bathroom.
  3. Some critics are saying that Palin won't last on Fox because she's an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It's working great for Glenn Beck, so she'll be fine.
  4. I feel like at this point Apple is releasing products just to see if there's anything we won't buy.
  5. A source close to Mitt Romney revealed that he gets a spray tan before major campaign events. I guess that explains his new Secret Service code name: "The Mittuation."
  6. "If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big they are. And then you'll go, 'Well I see. That's like bein' frightened of a hampster.'"
  7. A school recieves a telephone call. "Hello," says the principal. "My daughter won't be in school today," says the voice. "May I ask who this is?" asked the principal. "This is my mother speaking."
  8. We offer three kinds of service: GOOD - CHEAP - FAST You pick any two! GOOD and CHEAP won't be FAST GOOD and FAST won't be CHEAP CHEAP and FAST won't be GOOD
  9. An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then as these numbers began to light in reverse order. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother."
  10. The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it? The object is a coffin. ^-^

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