The "Is It Time To Get Out of Korea?" Quiz

You went to the mystic orient because it sounded exotic, it sounded adventurous, and it sounded fun. You have stayed longer than you initially planned. Now you hear yourself saying things you never thought possible. You find yourself agreeing with idiots. They are all around you and you are starting to be like them

Quick! take the quiz and determine if it is time for you to cash in and check out. Quick!Quick!Quick! (Bali! Bali! Bali! Bali!)Quick!Quick!Quick! (Bali! Bali! Bali! Bali!)Quick!Quick!Quick! (Bali! Bali! Bali! Bali!)

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  1. The statement "Korea has four distinct season" causes you to react by:
  2. 1. When informed by a wise and mystic Korean that you must understand the "unique situation" you react by:
  3. Your Korean girlfriend will not hold hands with you in public; however she regularly urinates in the shrubbery with you. This makes you
  4. A most gorgeous Korean woman is ahead of you. In one fell swoop she gathers her slinky designer dress to one side, drops to her haunches, wraps her arms around her knees, hoicks up an enormous glob phlegm, and commences waiting on a bus. You:
  5. Encountering countless pools of pink vomit on the sidewalk early in the morning makes you;
  6. When your Korean acquaintances get maudlin over Cheonggyechon you react by:
  7. When fresh-off-the-turnip-truck native English teachers fervently recite everything their students have taught them and insist that it is true, you:
  8. The threat of sudden fan death makes you;
  9. The McCune-Reischauer system was formerly used for Romanizing Korean. The new Ministry of Education system makes you;
  10. The statement one pyong equals 3.3 square meters makes you:
  11. The name Hwang Woo Suk makes you:
  12. When agitated hosts rant about your lack of understanding of Korea and use the television program M*A*S*H as an example of collective ignorance, you:
  13. On realizing that Koreans habitually write P rather than 9, you react by
  14. When informed that "hangul is very scientific" you react by
  15. When the next Korean Air plane has a tragic mishap and results in more loss of passenger life, you will inevitably:
  16. Koreans quickly get riled if one says in English "Seoul University" (as opposed to Seoul National University), but they get puzzled if you transliterate it and say "Gungnip Seoul Daehakgyo" in Korean. This makes you:
  17. When informed that "Rain" is on the cusp of international stardom, you react by;
  18. When informed that "Korea is 5,000 years old" you react by
  19. You have a serious illness and need significant medical care. You decide to;
  20. When the local denizens insist that the "63 Building" is 63 stories tall, you react by;
  21. When glassy eyed sons of Han recite the great history of the turtle ship you react by:
  22. When you are told, for the millionth time, that "Korea is the only divided nation" you;
  23. When a young Korean lectures you on the urgent need for US forces to get out of Korea you:
  24. When a Korean refers to the 1988 Summer Olympics at the "most successful" you react by
  25. Your Korean secretary was born exactly 22 years ago, however she insists that she is 24 years old. You react by;
  26. The best translation of "han" is;
  27. When a strident young Korean angrily states that Korea is divided only because the United States divided it, you react by;
  28. While walking down the street Mr. Kim explains to you that Koreans don't actually eat dog -- that is just a legend. You look up as the two of you pass a dog restaurant. You react by;
  29. When it becomes obvious that Miss Lee is utterly incapable of distinguishing between green and blue you react by;
  30. When told, yet again, that Seoul Tower is the tallest tower in the world, you react by:
  31. When Mr. Kim assures you that Korea is famous all over the world for its fabulous hospitality, you react by:
  32. Koreans are the most diligent people on the planet, at least that is what your Korean colleagues tell you. When you hear this claim you react by;
  33. Well-crafted Konglish splashed across the Korean landscape prompts you to:
  34. The Sunshine policy would have worked if only the international community had stepped out of the way and allowed home grown diplomacy to work. This statement causes you to
  35. A colleague from work, Hwang Chul Su, has decided to go by an "English name." Mr. Hwang jettisons Chul Su in favor of "Woody." He goes as far as having his business cards altered. While his fellow Koreans still refer to him as Chul Su, he is adamant that
  36. Mr. Kim, Mr. Kim, and Mr. Kim have joined you for after-work drinks at the neighborhood soju tent. All three Kims insist that Cheju is a tropical island. You react by;
  37. Your "good friend" Mr. Pock has a business proposition for you. All he needs is a substantial amount of your money for a limited time. You react by:
  38. 1. The veins on Mr. Bae�s neck bulge when he speaks about a pair of little rocks halfway between Korea and Japan. When this happens you;
  39. 1. Miss Choe claims that he is the direct descendant of Korean royalty. So does Mr. Kim. So does Mr. Lee and Miss Pock. In fact, every Korean you have ever met claims to be of yongban stock. This makes you;
  40. Miss Ahn assures you that Koreans are assuredly not xenophobic, this causes you to;

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