The Atheist Test

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There are so many tests to determine one's religiosity, but I've found that they're quite biased. So I decided to create my own, balanced test to see if you're a Saved lamb of the Almighty or a godless, damned heathen.

The test was created in consultation with certified scienticians with PhD's in Truthology from Christian Tech. They're all just yes-or-no questions, and you can take as long as you want. There are no wrong answers!

Created by: Edward Falzon, author

Are you ready for...
Our "When Will I Die" Quiz?

  1. Are you too stupid to realise that God totally exists and made everything, including your ignorant, ungrateful self?
  2. Do you feel it is necessary to actually read the Bible in order to believe it, rather than merely believe it on pure faith, without knowing its content, thereby making you substantially more holy?
  3. Is your black heart preventing you from seeing that bananas were made perfectly by the Christian God for human consumption?
  4. Do you even SLIGHTLY disagree with anything any Christian says about anything, ever?
  5. Are you so stubborn that you're prepared to live in eternal damnation, swimming in boiling lava and being fed anthrax smores?
  6. Is your poorly functioning brain completely unable to accept the obvious logic that if a Coca Cola can is man-made, therefore the whole Bible is true and is the only Truth in the world and is the only way to get into Heaven?
  7. Do you feel compelled to apply reason and logic, both of which were invented by Satan, to passages in the inerrant Bible?
  8. Do you support a woman's right to choose, a gay's right to marry or a non-Christian's right to enter the United States?
  9. Have you ever had an opportunity to spit in Richard Dawkins' face, but not done so?
  10. Are you, in fact, an atheist?

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