Goodbye...part 11 | Comments

@singin234

Your welcome, I think maybe for the explainations you could try to make them have less talking. There's a certain rule for movies and it's called "Show, don't tell" and what this rule means is when you're trying to explain something to the audience, the characters should portray the message or character trait by what they do and how they act. For example rather then saying "I'm so quirky and likeable" to tell the audience that they're quirky and likeable, they could go to the main character girl who's going through a tough time and give her a hug and take her out to bowling, but he ends up tripping on his feet when trying to bowl and this makes her laugh. Both of these ways show that he's quirky and likeable, but it's better if the audience sees who the character is, rather then explaining what kind of character he is. I find explainations go better that way when it's shown instead of told. Oh and another thing, I've made part 5 for Remember the future. If you want to look at it please do, I've been waiting for it to show up on the newest quiz bar but so far I haven't seen it *sighs* oh well, I'd appreciate it if you would read it.

Hmm, hot guy, evil guy, hot guy, evil guy, hot guy, evil guy... well this is a no brainer obviously the hot guy. Although I'd like to add somethings to Jev (if you don't mind)

Interests: Comics, Video Games, and Green Day

Yep, just some suggestions. Can we go back to the girls at Brad's house... yeah WHY ARE THEY AT BRAD'S HOUSE??? I'm not sure if they were invited or if there's a party but it's a little sudden. I love the fact that Aria is jealous. Not because I don't like her (oh contrare) but because I really like it when a character just snaps or loses their self control over something silly. It's funny and a good look into their psychology. Well, this one went well, although the explainations feel a little rushed. I think this one went pretty well though. Part 12 please :)

Oh, I forgot the main character was almost 18... gah I forget my own age like that too sometimes >.< aw, I wanted to play chess... Missy Prissy Cat gives good advice re: explanations. Jev... makes me think of Jeb for Eragon XD just a random connection. As for ideas, I'm almost always dry of ideas :/ sorry

Anyway, ta-ta for now, I'm off to read Missy Prissy Cat's story