All Angels Break Down
Thread Topic: All Angels Break Down
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Looking at myself, i dont even recognize ever being that small, that happy. It can't be real.
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I made it through work today, but at what cost?
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I'm alive in the sense that my heart is still beating and I still have basic needs for food and such.
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I've been in a really bad place, and it just keeps getting worse. It's been a month of this. I dont sleep, and if i do, my dreams are full of trauma. If I manage to sleep, no matter how much sleep I get, it doesnt restore my body, so im running on fumes. I have no motivation. My general health is just crumbling. I feel an overall sickness when I wake up in the morning, and it lasts until I return to bed. Sometimes, even while im lying in bed, I feel an indescribable ache in my body that hurts and feels so uncomfortable that it makes me nauseous. Last night, I felt nauseous because my arms and legs were aching. It was a dull ache, but sickening.
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I was awake for 2 hours this morning before I felt myself crashing and burning. I woke up disoriented and took some time to get out of bed long after my alarm went off. Breakfast made my stomach hurt for hours. When I got to work, I got hit with a migraine, it hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up. I felt dizzy, numb, disoriented for most of the day.
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I met with my new psychiatrist for my meds on saturday. The very first thing she said after saying hi was "You look very sick."
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And now im getting that ache in my body again. It makes it hard to sleep.
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988 my ass. That s--- is useless.
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If im not actively trying to kill myself, they dont care. They try to rush me out the chat as quick as possible and never listen to what im saying.
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I feel so isolated even though nothing is keeping me from going out. I just have nowhere to go.
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It's too windy out, so I cant go on much of a walk.
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