All Angels Break Down
Thread Topic: All Angels Break Down
-
Looking at myself, i dont even recognize ever being that small, that happy. It can't be real.
-
I made it through work today, but at what cost?
-
I'm alive in the sense that my heart is still beating and I still have basic needs for food and such.
-
I've been in a really bad place, and it just keeps getting worse. It's been a month of this. I dont sleep, and if i do, my dreams are full of trauma. If I manage to sleep, no matter how much sleep I get, it doesnt restore my body, so im running on fumes. I have no motivation. My general health is just crumbling. I feel an overall sickness when I wake up in the morning, and it lasts until I return to bed. Sometimes, even while im lying in bed, I feel an indescribable ache in my body that hurts and feels so uncomfortable that it makes me nauseous. Last night, I felt nauseous because my arms and legs were aching. It was a dull ache, but sickening.
-
I was awake for 2 hours this morning before I felt myself crashing and burning. I woke up disoriented and took some time to get out of bed long after my alarm went off. Breakfast made my stomach hurt for hours. When I got to work, I got hit with a migraine, it hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up. I felt dizzy, numb, disoriented for most of the day.
-
I met with my new psychiatrist for my meds on saturday. The very first thing she said after saying hi was "You look very sick."
-
And now im getting that ache in my body again. It makes it hard to sleep.
-
988 my ass. That s--- is useless.
-
If im not actively trying to kill myself, they dont care. They try to rush me out the chat as quick as possible and never listen to what im saying.
-
I feel so isolated even though nothing is keeping me from going out. I just have nowhere to go.
-
It's too windy out, so I cant go on much of a walk.
-
I dont want to be here anymore.
-
f--- this s---.
-
It's never enough.
-
I don’t think anyone understands. I can laugh and still want to kill myself. I can hold a job but still be manic and want to hurt other people. I can appear to be a normal human being. You would never know I have thoughts every night of one day not waking up. And when I finally cave, they all think im faking because I never showed signs. And they get angry and think im just making excuses to not do anything. I'm so done. I'm so sick of everything. I have to make a scene to show that im not okay? No, I just fall apart in private. Last week I wanted to hurt people. Did anyone see that? No. I stayed up until 3am those nights and in the morning, I simply said I was tired. Nobody knew that I had been sleeping poorly.
Post a reply as a guest or Log In
REMEMBER:
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
