Overgrown Garden
Thread Topic: Overgrown Garden
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My brain feels like there’s 50 different emotions playing with the Inside Out controller board and trying to see how many buttons and joysticks they can hit all at once
I’m so calm and cool and collected chat omfl -
s--- I know why I’m spiraling
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Pov you have all these big scary thoughts about life and death and wasted potential and opportunities only to realize you’re just a lonely little boy who hasn’t seen his boyfriend in 2 weeks and hasn’t talked to his best friends in a month
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I still have to get a gift bag and s--- for Eli
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Ok so maybe I lied, I hung out with some of my best friends just yesterday, but that didn’t feel like much. It was a movie and karaoke, which is great, but I want a conversation. The only social interaction I’ve had since school ended are from my family, toddlers, angry customers, work friends, and church people. This is exactly what I knew I would hate in the summer. I miss my friends, but they’re on vacations and actually doing something with their summer, and I’m stick doomscrolling and flipping burgers.
It just feels empty. And I know I’m just saying all of this because of today being sad and lonely and in 2 days I’ll be fine, but I miss people. Im tired of being stuck in my home as the volunteer parent and not being able to see anyone that isn’t either younger than me or asking me about my relationship with Jesus.
I know this is all just me being angsty and tired, but I miss the 6 hour hangouts after school just studying and ranting about school drama. Say what you want about drama, but it gives people an excuse to talk, and I’d give anything for someone to talk to me currently -
Wow I sound like a lonely loser holy s---
I’m fine I promise I’ve just been listening to podcasts and looking through Pinterest all day and I want a break, but tomorrow will be better lol -
No, I get it, I’m the same. It sucks and it’s not giving lonely loser at all, sometimes I get jealous because of how you always seem so put together and awesome and not at all a lonely loser. Here if you need to talk.
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I’m not put together at all dude, you’ve got the wrong user lol. Thanks, if I can actually form coherent sentences I might, but otherwise I’m good
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There's a new guy at my workplace that absolutely sucks he's annoying and an a--hole and so homophobic but he's not good enough at his job to be rude to me and get away with it
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I'm friends with all the managers, and he's annoying with them too, so they don't like him either
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But his mom is 1 of the higher ups at the job so he can't really get fired
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Emotions are really weird lately. Don’t quite know how to explain it
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But wow lavender is definitely a coping character bc OMG
It’s ok so im so chill and relaxed rn -
I keep feeling like I’ve abandoned my dreams
I will never be an author, actor, singer, songrwriter, or comedian. That’s just a fact. It’s not abandoning, it’s part of growing up -
But also the dream job I DO want (educator of the deaf and blind) might not be around once in old enough to apply. There’s just no point to any future planning, because nothing I want to do is guaranteed
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