Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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He hasn’t answered his phone all week and it’s scaring the s--- out of me
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I’m in my I have to take care of everyone and everything in my power era
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I need to remember to breathe. I’ve been hyperventilating since last nigh
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I’m going to ask my doctor to switch my depression meds since they don’t help anxiety, and I have that way worse than depression, so I either need a medication that works for both of them, or just completely switch the target to my anxiety. It keeps spiking all the time and I don’t know what to do about it
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I thought my anxiety would relax after the AP test, but clearly that’s not the case
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He’s staying at our house for another week or so
At least he’s a chill dude, most of my brothers friends are wacko -
He goes other places for the day and stuff, so it’s not like he’s staying here 24/7. He just crashes at our house from the afternoon until the morning. It’s basically a weird ass sleepover
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Everything is falling apart and I can’t tell anyone about it
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I don’t even mean that in the “I feel alone” way. I AM alone, and I can’t change that. I can’t tell anyone either. There’s too much risk. I can’t do anything because everything I do only makes things worse, and the only person I trust to know all of this is moving to another therapy company in a week. Nothing is working, everyone is either in danger, leaving my life forever, or both. I’m trapped
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Why is this my life. Why are these the cards everyone close to me has. Why do I feel like a curse.
None of it is my fault, but there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change minds, the force of nature, the will of god, or literally anything. All I can do is sit and wait, and I’m so f---ing tired of waiting forever for something to finally improve. Every time it feels like things are getting better, it just sinks to worse and worse. I thought I was healing. I thought I was doing okay. Why did all of this have to happen. It doesn’t make sense -
If you need it, I’m here. I know it’s not much and I can’t do anything from across the world, but if you do need someone to rant to, I’m always here and on my phone. I hope it gets better
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I might text you on Pinterest about it, if your up for it. There’s just a lot of s--- going on and i can’t do anything about it or tell absolutely anyone close to me about
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Go ahead dude, I don’t mind at all
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Posting on here since I remember stuff I post on here more:
Research UCLA college and opportunities for you to visit it because my cousin was telling me she thinks it’d be very good for me both intellectually and in the get-the-hell-out-of-this-state way -
I’ve got a while before I have to worry about colleges, but it’s still good to have high goals
But again, I’ve got a while to figure out what I want to do. Just 3 years ago I wanted to go to BYU Idaho. s--- happens and plans change and I don’t have to stress about it quite yet
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