Vent thread I'll probably forget about
Thread Topic: Vent thread I'll probably forget about
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Spiraling again
I bet talking to him would help but it’s late and I don’t want to be a brat -
I just hate feeling like an idiot. I was never competitive, but I’m always comparing myself to my little brother, which is stupid because he’s literally if Sheldon Cooper was real. I’m always the “dumb brother” which is bulls--- bc I’m not even dumb. I’m sorry Im not a math whiz. Sorry physics hurts my brain. Sorry my brain thinks in the form of concepts, not linearly and through binary code and numbers.
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My parents don’t compare me to him, which is great, but everyone else does. I’ll have teachers talk to me about how I should talk to my parents about having him move up a grade or 5, or going to a new gifted school for kids like him. Hell, the SCHOOL DISTRICT has talked with him about moving up. He’s already got colleges interested in him, and he’s 13. It’s easy to be the dumb kid compared to a savant like him. It doesn’t matter how much I try
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And I do try. I try really hard. It just doesn’t seem to matter.
What’s the point of being an good student if it just means I’ll be following my brothers shadow all the time -
Oh wow page 100 that’s so cutesy
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Wow I really jumped through hoops and worked so hard just for it to mean literally nothing
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Kinda sucks sacrificing so much for friends just for them to go “Oop, scheduling conflict, guess we can’t hang out” like bro I spent A WEEK trying to get people to take my shift at work bc I wanted to hang out with you, but it feels like you didn’t try at all to make this work
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And that’s a me problem for sure. I was the one moving around my schedule for something that wasn’t 100% set in stone. I was the one who was willing to sacrifice, and that’s on me, but you seriously could have told me this wasn’t working out DAYS AGO. weeks even. We planned this 2 weeks ago, it’s so stupid to just dip the day before. Come on, man
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Whatever. I won’t even remember this hang out in 6 months most likely, so it shouldn’t be wasting so much space in my head
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Dream job is available for me once I graduate high school, but if I accept that job I can’t leave this state, and I feel like if I don’t leave here once I’m 18 or looking for college options then I’ll never leave
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And I want to leave this state asap, but I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel this good about a job. I know it’s still a couple years away, but I’m an impatient idiot
Maybe I’ll move to a more accepting city to try and make up for the fact that I’m in a s---ty state….. -
I need to remember that my whole life is waiting for me though. It doesn’t feel like it, but I’ve got time and I need to just shut up lmfao
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My brothers friend is staying over at our house tonight
His dad is a total s---face, and he ran away for the night. We’re taking him in until he’s able to go to his moms house tomorrow afternoon -
He already called the cops and told them he’s okay and staying the night at a friends house because he doesn’t feel comfortable around his dad, so i don’t think my family or his mom are going to get charged for criminal offenses (especially since his mom and the police doesn’t know which friends house he’s staying at currently, just that he’s safe and he’ll text them updates on if he’s okay every hour when he’s not sleeping)
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He better be okay
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