Fire in the Dark
Thread Topic: Fire in the Dark
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i don't think anything i do really matters to them...
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nothing matters. im nothing anymore.
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it has gotten worse... i hate that it has. i am nothing anymore. i was never anything...
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im panicky, shaky, overthinking. i can barely speak out, which is a problem. im close to losing my voice, but im also on the verge of a full blown panic attack. im far too worried. im scared about them. what if they arent okay? now i know how they feel when i give them a suicide scare. im terrified. i know full well that i myself am not out of the dark, but im so f---ing scared about them that im hoping they forget about me. i don't matter as much as they do. im nothing more than what ive made myself into. im not safe right now. im still suicidal and i still want to die. but i have to stay strong for crystal otherwise...
otherwise who knows? -
i hate these thoughts. i cant even stay safe or calm at school. f**k this man!
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a kid who once looked so promising is now destined for suicide...
i hate that... but it gives me a good poem idea... -
why does this song have wonderful timing?
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those ... those are thoughts...
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i feel like s**t...
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I’m so tired these days…
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I’m slipping down a certain hole again. There’s a rip in our system. I’m falling into an abyss again that I can’t get myself out of.
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I never thought I would experience pain like this again. I can’t lose another person. Please no. Please don’t go…
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gotta love looking back at this and seeing the true despair i experienced
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somehow, as a freshman and a sophomore, i was scared and hurt. i still am, as a junior and a senior. i want to say i’m doing better, but that would be a lie. the medications don’t work anymore, if anything they make me worse. i just … i can’t seem to get better
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i’m so f—king p—sed with them. i hate this. i hate their gf i hate their stupid crybaby gf. she gets everything she wants, and i will get nothing. i hate her. i f—king hate her.
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