random jokes
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:16pm
Thread Topic: random jokes
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him "
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. -
Home gurl NewbieLol i like da first one
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I like the suffering from insanity.
I've done something similar to the F1 one. I told my friend I'd pay her a hundred dollars if she would press the F13 key. -
xD me too, one of mi favorites
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up a nd say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." -
Home gurl Newbie@Kitsune lol I like da 2nd one
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HA. xD
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.†-
Don't Cry Over Spilled Beer
Tell a friend that you know a great trick. Put your hand palm-down on the table and balance a full glass of beer (or any liquid) on the back of your hand. Bet your friend that they can’t balance a glass on both hands at once (with your help to put them in place). As soon as you have the glasses balanced, stand up and walk out. They will be trapped and will have to spill the beers to escape.
Forgetful
Tape magnets to the bottom of an empty coffee cup, and attach it to the top of your car. Laugh at all the people who frantically try to get your attention as you drive by.
Early Bird
Set the victim’s alarm clock for the middle of the night and hide it somewhere in the room where they will have to get up and scramble around to turn it off. (This works even better if you sneak in after they go to sleep and unscrew the light bulb in their lamp. Then they’ll have to search for the clock in the dark!)
i wanna do those someday xD -
Why Am I So Sleepy?
This prank will only work if your victim wakes up when it’s still dark. While the victim is asleep, reset all the clocks to two hours earlier, and set the alarm to ring two hours early also. Let them get completely ready for work before you let them in on the prank.
Got It Covered
While at the beach: wait for your victim to leave for a few minutes. Then pick up their towel, dig a hole and cover it with the towel. When they get back they will “fall†for your trick. -
Lol, niceeee
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buddluver270 NoviceSome girl and her crush are talking, and suddenly the boy says, "I love you". The girl replies, "Really? You do? Well-" the boy interrupts the girl and says, "yes it's my favorite vowel! But seriously you are really cute." The girl replies, "I think we should see other people." and walks away.
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