I really loved the way that we had a waterfall wall thing in our pool in Texas. Whenever it turned on, everything felt so calm and you’d just hear the sound of it.
And then the giant palm trees that surrounded it, and it felt like a hidden place, even though it really wasn’t.
School is like the most stressful thing ever right now. I’m trying my very best, and I still can’t seem to get anything over a 90%. My grades aren’t reflecting the kind of student that I KNOW I am. I’m learning all the material, and I really understand it by the time I take the test. I like learning, so that’s no worry at all. My bigger problem is the workload. I go to a really hard and rigorous school, so I’ve got a lot of pressure on me to finish about 3 hours of homework for 4 classes a day. It sounds really easy and stuff, but that’s three hours of my day taken away from 4:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Not to mention I have activities, stuff I need to catch up on, long projects I need to work on.
It’s just too much. Everyone else seems to be doing fine, because I go to a school full of gosh darn robots. I’m left with like, an hour of time to myself? And even that’s used for planning for the next day.
I get like six hours of sleep, which isn’t that bad, but I’m exhausted and burned out everyday.
And this whole boy drama, which isn’t helping at all.
Like I wish I had time for this stuff, but I don’t. Not if I wanna get into an Ivy League, or even a college that my parents want me to go to. I need grades over 96%, which is f---ing impossible right now. I need to figure out how I’m gonna play basketball next season, WHILE trying to balance everything else. AND, I need to free up some time for this stupid Mock Trial Club s---.
And the stupid boy drama. Jesus Christ I’d like to go one day without feeling like absolute shot because of it.
Does this guy like me back? Does this guy wanna go out? What’s this guy think of me? Should I just drop it and focus on school? If he likes me back, will the anxiety get worse? Is he even okay? If we actually both like each other, then doesn’t that mean that school’s gonna be even more stressful bc I’m gonna be trying to maintain a relationship AND all this stupid school stuff?
