TBH
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:37pm
Thread Topic: TBH
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i already have a audio one that I hacr to work on but I'm bored
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You're one of my best friends, like seriously. I have a short-medium list of my absolute favorite users and you're on it. We have a very dysfunctional or confusing relationship though, because one instant you would find us bickering about the most retarded s--- and then afterwards we start talking about hippies, illegal drugs, potatoes or a miscellaneous range of absurd trash. You have many characteristics that are hard to pin down and talk about specifically, but you're many people within one body. You're super adorable, and I want you tO STOP COVERING YOUR f---ING MOUTH PLEASE THIS ISN'T 2006
jESUS HAROLD
Like you have a really unique face and I analyze people's faces frequently (habit that runs in our family) and even if your eyes look super dark to where it looks black, sometimes I do see a ping of something. That something is just a simple mystery, nothing complex.
Something I can't or will never know.
Whatevessssss.
We had our rocky road of the past, like when we went through that saga of "youknowwhatbuticantexplainfortheprivacyofthebothofus" and I still do sometimes stop and think about it. Sometimes I think about the sweet moments of that quickly ended saga and sometimes I just flat out get pissed by it. If I have to be truly honest, you did kind of deeply hurt me though. But I am not the person of the hour, so I'll just leave it at there.
But you're a person with a variety of strengths and weaknesses but you constantly pay attention to the weakness.
Anyways, after going on and on about this piece of crap-
lOVE YOU -
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Everything..
Everything changed.
We used to be so close, so f---ing close. We could easily joke and get along and you used to be so loving and caring when someone close to you were down in the dumps. You were very impulsive and energetic, and no matter what you lovde being humorous with your little puns and s--- except whenever something pisses you off or you. (note: you still do but not that much anymore) get angry or you get extremely upset. Everything was a wonderland, a f---ing Disneyworld for that matter in our friendship, but that all went downhill.
You seem more caught up in a relationship so much that now you can barely pay attention to the external or outside environment of it. You seem more- I don't want to use the word "distant", but less of what you used to be. Something is wearing you down and you need to learn to relax when dealing with someone that has issues, especially when you're in an intimate relationship with them. Instead of being a coward, help them. Instead of leaving them and panicking and avoiding worthwhile advice, help them. But I bet you're the only one that has seen the worst of it and I can't have much say in this and can be completely wrong about all of this.
But now that you've been sucked into the portal of all of it, you seemed to forget a bit about your friends, the people that also care about you and want to help you when you're in a bad mood. But whenever something scary rises between you and them, you seem quick to become insecure, anxious and tend to overreact in an unnecessary matter.
Overall.
chill -
You seem more slow. Like sedate, sluggish, fatigued, exhausted, and beaten to a pulp. Well, you were beaten to a pulp earlier by a bunch of pricks with no rational reason behind their fury of actions, but you're suffering beyond physical anguish or pain. You're suffering with a cavity in the mind, where the hole sucks out every drain of something everybody loves to feel. Up their spine, through the fringes of their toes, with the stretch of their mouth wide, maybe with extreme physical expression like the tightening of their muscles or so on. People feel happiness in subjective ways, but I don't think you've been feeling it lately. Reverting back to the cavity, the hole of it is like a sink. You know how sometimes you're just so captivated into filling your sink with large amounts of water to make your dolls, toys or even your pets go splishy-splashy in your make believe pool, pissing off your parents with all the mess you created afterwards? When you pull the drain, sometimes you see it go all the way down, with a vortex or a whirpool of water getting sucked in by that hole. The water is your happiness, the hole is your life. The hole could be anything that is depriving you.
You're a beautiful, beautiful girl with so much hope for the future, so much people that offer you attention and guidance, so many people that find you very attractive and hold on to you because they really love you. Seeing that makes me feel like s---, it makes me feel insecure about myself sometimes and I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I have many days where I am left alone to pick up dirt and rocks, my crumby situations if I must clarify. I have many days where I love to suck in everything and not leave a single tear or track for anyone to use to pity me. I have many days where I am left alone. Just alone, like in real life or on the internet. Just alloneeee. I have many days where I f--- up, but I never get support like you whenever I do. I had to grow a backbone, I needed some way to do this s--- on all of my own. But you know what? I just learned to just accept that people are going to have more than me as an extra boost but it all slows down for them once I catch up with all the hard work I put into my engine, my peddle, my velocity of speed. But I am gradually coming towards that.
Anyways, sweet girl. You could care about anyone.
You deserve the best that you receive, you really do. I wish I could help you because you're life is in shambles, but my senpai has always said that the best things come from the worst.
LOVE YOU -
THIS TOOK ME MORE THAN AN HOUR TO ACCOMPLISH
I THINK
CRIES -
Me
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