Can't sleep...
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: Can't sleep...
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Too busy thinking about how much I hate everything about myself...
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but you are a beautiful mother bunny and your babies love you
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^
Wanna tell Darkness what's up? -
haaaah I want a Barnaby...I real Barnaby just for me, to comfort me...
I just..hate everything. My personality, gender, appearance, everything. And I want to tell my mom, but knowing her, she'll slip up to my dad. Then he'll assume I just need therapy. Therapists are loads of hogwash, and I don't want to be stuck dealing with one. I just wish I'd been born a boy, a somewhat pretty boy. Maybe my body would be shaped properly for once in my life. Maybe I wouldn't have to deal with so much drama and crap because other girls are makeup coated whores that are so low in self-esteem that they have to get into everyone else's lives. I could punch David in the face and steal Mandy away because he doesn't know what to do for her, not to mention he's so homosexual that their 'relationship' isn't even close to an actual romance. It's not fair to her and she doesn't even see how much of a load of s--- he is. I don't want to live in this body and name anymore, but I don't want to wait to be 'reborn'. I want to live in this time, but in the complete opposite.. -
I'm sorry, Mo. There are actual gender identity therapists(Not the ones that think you can only be the gender you're assigned at birth) that can help with this. And yeah, a lot of them are s---, but there's some that would be able to help. You'd have to do some looking, tho
Or if not, maybe talk to your friends? If you feel that way so intensely, you should look into it. You have to recognize how you feel about your body. It sucks that you may have lost all that time as something you don't feel comfortable is, but if you don't give yourself a chance to figure it out, you'll only loose more time. -
If I could make him real I swear I would, just for you.
Your personality and appearance are both wonderful, Mo. I admire both aspects of you, I won't deny it. I'd only allow you to hate your gender, but not your personality nor appearance. I'm sorry you can't tell your parents how you feel, though. I'd share my parents with you if I could.. It must be awful. But, again, there's nothing wrong with your appearance. You're a great female, and you'd be a great male too. Don't put yourself down. I'm sorry you can't take Mandy, it sounds like she's straight.. You're even now proving you're better than that guy. You're amazing. Outstanding, Mo. You don't think that way, but I do. If you want, I'll call you something other than your name. I'll do anything to make you happy. You deserve it. -
The only reason I don't try to dig into it is because of family. They all seem like they love and care about me, but if I were to get a change, would they still think that way? Or would they want me gone? Would my dad bother trying to spend time with me again, or would he prefer to stay away from me? My mom seems like she wouldn't care, but that doesn't she won't decide to hate me if I did change. And if I change, I can't have kids. Unlike being born a boy naturally, my body doesn't produce sperm. I just wish things were easier, simpler. I wish everyone was like trolls, where there's no real defined gender because they basically have both.
I've been on and off when it comes to my comfort zone with gender, and I'm afraid of that, too. What if I make a change and regret it? I wouldn't be able to go back. Right now, I just want to cut my hair and wear boys cloths for awhile..I'd fine as a girl if I were a more masculine one. Like Sapphire. She's so beautiful yet strong. She even looks older while I look like a f---ing child still.
I'm even doing it right now. As much as I wish I were boy, seeing as I'm a girl, I just want to look as much like a boy as possible for the time being, but if I honestly don't feel comfortable by my midtwenties, I'll discuss with someone about what to do.. -
I would talk to them about it. Ease into it. It's really something you need to do for you, not for them. Talk to your friends and siblings first. And then your mom. And then your dad. Ease into it. Suggest it at first. It'll work out, if it's what you want. And if they don't want to stay by you, then f--- them. That's their loss.
As far as reproduction, it really does suck. I suggest having eggs preserved? -
Talking to my siblings is never going to happen. My sister tries to act like some huge religious person sometimes and my brother's a homophobe. They'll be the last to know if anything. I just want to calm down, and think when I'm more relaxed. Like I said, my comfort changes. There are days where I want to be a boy entirely and days where I just wanna be a full-blown tom, a cross-dresser.
I've heard something about bone marrow being used to make sperm, but I don't know anymore. I'd have to look into it again.
I'm going to try to sleep. I need to get up to at least wash my hair tomorrow...
Thank you, you two, for not ignoring me like everyone else would. It makes me miss the old days when everyone actually knew each other on here and were more than willing to help each other. -
I'm sorry I couldn't further respond. I'll be there for you tomorrow, though, if you'd like. Goodnight, Momo. Feel better.
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Alright, well.. Sleep well, Mo-Senpai. I hope you figure something out, and I'll support you regardless of what you decide. I love you. Night.
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