No Subject
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: No Subject
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I don't think you guys know this but I'm really sensitive on the subject of friends. Lately people have been starting to shove me out and have expressed how they don't like me.
Examples: Today I tried playing basketball with some of my friends and they went to the other court after one round of playing with me. I had left the group of people I was with just to play.. That group was ignoring me, but eh. I had to ask the guys to play with me. I also relied on them for help because I couldn't shoot the ball and they were trying to encourage me when I couldn't get it in. My other friends ignored me and encouraged the others that had previously left. When we debated in English, I tried talking about how bad I was but I thought it was fun and everyone went silent. When I shut up, they started talking again.
And so.. I feel like on here that's what I have to do too. Sometimes I want to talk to someone but I don't bother trying because I'm really scared they'll leave. I'm always fighting for both you guys and IRL friends to stay with me. It kinda sucks. So like, I'm really sorry if I hide, okay? Or if I seem like I'm ignoring you, or that you're 'boring me', or that I don't care for you. I really do. You guys pay attention to me and let me express myself. Hell, I was trying to show everyone my new characters and they just nodded awkwardly while you guys actually talked to me about them. I really do appreciate you.
I just can't get rid of my fear that I'll upset you all and make you ignore me. It already happened with one of you it seems and I'm so scared of losing all of you. I care, though. I care so much. So please, please forgive me. I'm trying so hard to pay attention to each and every one of you. I'm going into a really bad state right now and I'm starting to break away from everyone. I can't think straight anymore. It's not you, I swear. It's all me.
All I really want to ask for is that you all understand my current situation and understand that if you want to leave me because of my actions I'm perfectly fine with that. I've been a f---y friend this year and I might just get worse. But I still love the majority of you. I just don't show it because I'm scared to. -
That's perfectly understandable, Dark. Even the friends I have at school share my common interests but are interested in the things I'm interested in and not entirely me. Me and them aren't just in sync, you know? But I can't say that I'm going through the same thing or I know how you feel, because that's never happened to me. I can guarantee, however, that if you do need somebody to talk to, whether we get along in the future or not, I can and will be there for you when you do need me. Hey, I'm a sucky friend too, and there's not a lot of people out there that think like we do. We're all just lucky that we have each other on GTQ so that there's a whole community behind the screen that we can just connect with, you know? Sounds awkward, but I'll just admit it: I prefer you guys over the people in my real life since I'm more easily able to open up to you. And hey, I think your characters are really cute.
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Well, I don't expect them to be entirely me. I have two people I can rely on there because we do relate and all of that. But they've started to replace me, and even Kristine seems to fall quiet a little when I try to talk to her. It's just scaring me. Thank you, though. I agree.
But, notice the fact you're the only one who responded. See, this is my fear come true. All of the threads with the other people that I care for are burying this. I feel boring to most of those people. I don't think everyone likes me as much as they say. And this thread was meant to catch their attention so I could fix that.. -
Kiddo are you okay?
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I don't know who you are exactly, but I am someone willing to get to know you. I like meeting new people. If you ever need help or something I can try an attempt to help you.
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I think that my posts should sum up the idea that I'm not okay. Emotionally, anyways.
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Well, thank you. I'm Dark, obviously.
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Right, there's Nicole in my gym class and Tamar in art, but Nicole's really awkward around me anymore and Tamar just seems... fake friendly. She doesn't talk to me behind my back or anything but a lot of the time she just seems a little disinterested in what I have to say. But, you're welcome.
That's actually a little sad. I mean, I used to be jealous of you but now I feel kinda bad? Like, I couldn't imagine what it'd be like if all my friends ignored me like they did you. It makes me feel, angry, almost? Like, nobody deserves to be ignored like that except for people who cause trouble for everybody (AnimePhan) or trolls or people like that. Not people like you. -
That's all I know about you. You may call me Cody.
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Oh...
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I still love you
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Exactly. That's exactly what's going on over here. Like, Kristine isn't awkward, but Angelica is sometimes. And it honestly sucks. It's kind of like I want to listen to them, I don't have to talk about myself, but they don't show if they dislike that or not. So I dunno what to say anymore.
I already knew one of them wouldn't post because it appears that I've upset her over the edge. The others, though, I was hoping they'd at least read it. I know how much of a little s--- I've been. I know how off I've been acting. And I just wanted to get it across and check to see if everyone caught it. It's fine, honestly. I can always email them or post this again with their names in the title instead of no subject. I just really want to be the best and most interesting friend I can be for them, and this isn't that important. As long as I know someone saw it, that's good with me.
Alright, then, Cody.
Yeah. .3.
Well I'm grateful. Ily too. -
you can still message me anytime
I can't avoid a direct message nearly as easily as I could have avoided this -
I know but I was directing this at people I can't message, such as Andi and the person who's mad at me and Oliver and Zane and all of the others.
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Ah. That does seem like a tough situation to be in. Again, I'm sorry.
Well, the people that did read and/or have posted do love you, right? Anri, Cody, Maru and I. But then again, doesn't four people seem small, even if some people find you boring? Four shouldn't really be enough for anyone. Four is... small.
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