Rebecca's thread.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: Rebecca's thread.
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I don't know....I just start to feel really bad in general whenever I go on here. Then I keep checking it cand checking for new news about people and it just makes me feel worse, but I can't stop. It's like poison, or drugs, ya know? It makes you feel good for a little bit at the beginning, but the more you take, the worse you feel, but you just can't stop.
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I don't get jealous, just left in the cold... scared and alone. :(
I recall when we used to talk. You came off, way off. It was the first time though. -
It's always been like this, ever since I can remember. Especially the other stuff with 2 people a long time ago that I don't want to mention, but I'm gonna say it anyways. I was really good friends with this one person. Then they started talking tot his other person. Then I was the third wheel for the longest time, and the next thing I knew, I wasn't even friends with that person anymore, even though I tried tot alk to them or do stuff with them, but they never felt like it. It's not really their fault though.
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And I can't even go onto peoples threads anymore when they're having a one on one conversation with someone, especially when those 2 peopel are my good friends. I feel like I'm always intruding on something, like I'm interrupting and I shouldn't be there,
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Same, but I stay out of it.
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I wish it was different, and every time I come back, I keep trying to strengthen bonds and fix things, but it never works. And....ok, so I hate when friends have issues with me and they don't tell me. And I feel like I might be kind of a hypocryte for not mentioning this to them before, but I never fully realized everything about this until now, and......I feel like they should of kinda of noticed at least some of it by now. But...I don't know.
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One side of my mind is telling me that I'm being selfish and seeking attention, but the other side of my mind is like no, you're right, this situation is f---ed up.
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So...lemme try to wrap this up. When i go on here, I want to actually look forward to come on here. I want to be happy to come on here and talk with people. But that rarely happens anymore. Yea.
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So that was my fun little rant, I'm probably gonna write more stuff tonight, but not now. I kinda want a few certain people to read this, I think I'm gonna tell them about it later.
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It happened on Saturday. You were happy I was in this thread.
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Or they might be reading already. Whatever, it doesn't really matter anyways, this thing, whatever it is, it follows me wherever I go. And I feel like I need to stop being so selfish, and I just need to accept it.
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Oh what a coincidence, the song lyrics of the month I posted here....the song just started playing on Pandora. How fun. This is a fun night.
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Oh look I found it. New page. I need a new page.
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