Okay, I need To Know How My Book Is Going
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:13pm
Thread Topic: Okay, I need To Know How My Book Is Going
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CHAPTER 1: THE FACE
I’m still not sure if I saw it. Ivory skin, tawny eyes looking at me from the background of jade green foliage.
The new Victorian home, three stories, was not something I was sure I could get use to. The symmetrical suburban I’d grown up in kept me inconspicuous, the way I liked it. I’d rather be another face in the crowd. But now when people drive past our massive oldie couldn’t help but give a furtive glance, and wonder, Who lives there?
Sluggishly, I pulled a suitcase up the cracked concrete walk. Green weeds, I winced. Everything was so green. Too green. I made sure to maneuver the suitcase wheels over the unwanted plant, then laboriously pulled it up the steps and onto a spacious wrap-around porch. My eyes took in everything, but I was careful not to stray to far to the right or left because then emerald forest would creep into my vision. The house was white, as was most old Victorians, but this one has the occasional light blue trim around windows and doors.
I couldn’t help but hate the stuffy fairy-tale house already. Suddenly I was interrupted in my familiarizing with the new property when dad grunted behind me. I turned around to see me dad precariously carrying three cardboard boxes, each wobbling on top of the other. I hurriedly swung open an un-needed screen door and then a chipping, splintered wood door. The handle was one of those iron ones with a huge keyhole that you could look to the other side with. As I stumbled over the threshold onto a threadbare rug, my dad was finally defeated by box mountain. A tumbling, scuffling sound resonated into the empty home and came back at me. I cringed at the loudness, thinking of poltergeists being disturbed and possibly coming to torment me I my sleep. I shuddered and looked up a steep flight of crooked stairs. It was right out of a Goosebumps book. The top of the stairs was dark except for a faint light told you of a window, or some sort of savior light from the darkness. I inhaled a breath of musty air and picked up my suitcase in my arms. I wondered what I had packed. Bricks? But the laborious pain was slowly overcome with fear of what could be waiting at the top of those stairs. I shook my head, exhaled, inhaled and held my breath, then thundered up the steps as fast as I could go, plowing into the darkness. I felt like screaming. The feeling of being watched was so strong that I could almost imagine someone sitting on the railing, watching me.
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That's really great,Sisi.
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thanx, i need to do a lot more editing
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it was kool
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That was awesome.
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Cool, SiSi! That's really great, don't worry about it being crappy because I thought it was really good. Keep writing and try not to be negative. I should know because for 2 years I didn't write a book because three times I'd write halfway through a book, think it was sh1t and abandon it, so don't let that pull you down.
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Amanda01 NoviceCool!Maybe a couple too many adjetives?better than a book my mom read,it was like:Soandso softly rubbed her thin finger down the cracking,old,brown window while the rain pounded loudly against the silver peeling old roof.
Waay too many.
Otherwise,it was GREAT!!!!!!!! -
Wow!!
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thanx ppl!
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Your welcome.
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