Who is in charge, the child or the adult?

We are, of course, the consequences of our genes, our experiences and our education, the sum of our past emotions - all of which to some extent ordain our emotional responses in the here and now. Many irrational fears or dislikes, for example, have their roots in "long-forgotten" traumas or even dreams. The notion of "maturity" frequently presupposes a stolid self-reliance founded upon common sense, and independence from such residual influences, but such resilience can be dearly bought, at the cost of the vulnerability essential to empathy. On the other hand, no one wants to hitch his or her wagon to the star of an eternally whimpering infant. The balance is a delicate one, and, once again, depends upon emotional intelligence, which distinguishes between those emotions that can constructively be entertained and others that, unchecked, are destructive or debilitating. There are no right or wrong answers and no one's looking over your shoulder, so take a risk and be brutally honest. That's the only way to truly assess your inner adult/child relationship.

So, who's in charge, the child or the adult? When triggers hit our hot buttons and emotions flare, It can be difficult to tell. This short quiz might add some insight to who's really driving the bus!

Created by: Steve
  1. A close friend dies. You are - honestly - most concerned at
  2. Illness in yourself, preventing work or fun, is
  3. A friend is in the hospital. You
  4. Depression makes you
  5. You are not invited to be godparent to the child of someone whom you had thought to be your dearest friend. You
  6. Stood up for a date, you
  7. You are most likely to cry at
  8. Which quotation most closely reflects your views?
  9. You hear that a close friend or lover has spoken ill of you. Do you
  10. Your lover proposes a new sexual game - dressing up, say, or role reversal. You
  11. Stuck in a traffic jam, you
  12. Your child or a child in your care is afraid of something which you know to be perfectly harmless -a spider, say. Do you

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