The Boyanoski Factor

For generations, the U.S. government has denied existence of what it calls the Boyanoski Factor. But it exists. It is a gene that causes temporary insanity, drunkeness and the occasional fistfight. We have reason to fear that you may be infected with this gene.

Please for the sake of you and the surrounding community, please take this test. The government needs to know if you are at risk. There are rumors that the gene has spread from its origins in Northeast Pa, and has spread across most of the Eastern U.S. There are some fears that the gene may be spreading in schools.

Created by: John Boyanoski

  1. What is your age?
  2. What is your gender?
  1. Where do you store cremanes?
  2. Have you or someone you know ever climbed a fence at a softball game to scream obscenities?
  3. Have you or a relative ever blown off half your face with gunpowder and then tried to cover up the fact by wearing sunglasses?
  4. Which of these would your father have said
  5. Have you ever worked at a Woolworth's store?
  6. Where do you get pizza that tastes like beer?
  7. What is the Christmas pickle?
  8. What is the proper word(s) to yell at your neighbor's children
  9. What is an alernative meaning to "early Easter service."
  10. What was the "hippie hut"
  11. Have you or a relative ever snooped for Christmas presents by breaking into another person's house
  12. Finish this sentence: I got a girl from Kansas City...
  13. Finish this sentence: It's Santa, no, no, no...
  14. What is the greatest comedy of all time?
  15. What was Bull's Head?
  16. Was your dog or a relative's dog ever treated for hemmoroids?
  17. What was the dog's name?
  18. What/who was the Winter Warlock
  19. You have bad hand writing, what is the likely reason?
  20. Have you bought a pizza or a calzone from a Chinese man
  21. Do you order steak or the buffet at the Ponderosa?

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