Liking to be alone pt1

this isn't a quiz. It's one part of a story that I'll hopefully continue for a while. If you click on this quiz, I hope you enjoy it! Once again, I do thank you if you do click on this!

Thank you for clicking on the story if you do decide to click on it. Really, I appreciate it. If you do or do not enjoy it, feel free to write what you do and do not like in the comments!

Created by: May Parkins

  1. Its dark outside and slightly drizzling. With out a doubt, it will a full on thunder storm soon. I sit by myself in my room. Its dark in there too. I prefer the dark out of anything. Its convienient and not to mention less-exspensive. Of course, it's not like my parents cant afford electricity. I just really prefer the dark. My lamps dont even have lightbulbs in them. The first crack of thunder is close and shakes the house. I slightly smile.
  2. I hear my door knob shaking. "Ugh, damn it! Kay, I told you not to lock the door!" she says. I laugh quietly so she won't hear me. "That door is the thing that keeps me seperated from everythng I don't like! My doctor therapists recommends that I lock it!" I say back. I can feel my mother glare throught the door at me. "Kay, no. She said lock your door when you truly need sometime to yourself and can't be interupted." She starts picking the lock. Before I say anything else, she adds, "and thats is not all the time!"
  3. I like being alone more than most people enjoy living. I am not one of those people who enjoys living. When I was 5, I was diagnosed with depression. Like, serious depression. Obviously, I already knew I was depressed. I had a lot of frinds and suddenly they were all gone. I ate, but suddenly I wasn't hungry and couldn't even think of eating. I smiled, but suddenly I just couldnt pull those muscles up. I can still DO all the things I want, I just really DON'T want to do those things. I don't even know if I have things like that anymore. I always liked being by myself, but when my depression first started developing, I burned down all my bridges if the person on the other end hadn't already. I didn't talk, I didn't eat, I didn't get up out of bed even though I couldn't sleep, etc. It's still really bad.
  4. "Kay, please." My mother is standing in front of me now. "Come down stairs, your therapist is here and we would like to talk to you. We think youre ready for another step." she says. Another step? What's that supposed to mean. There aren't steps to cure depression. There's managing, and there's dieing. Another step closer to "curing" my depression. Ha! "Sure, I'll come down stairs." I say. My mother smiles and claps her hands together. "Kay is coming down stairs you guys!" My mother calls down. I can here Dr.Fisher gasp. It's not a gasp of happiness. It's a suprised sort of gasp. Suprised I said another sentence. Suprised I didnt ask them to come up here, to my room, and talk to me. Suprised I even responded, and more so, said I would. "Oh, well that's fantastic news! Key! I'm so glad youre joining us!" Dr. Fisher says. Mhmm, I think. I'm sure you're so glad to see me. Your morbid patient who you can barely tolerate. You're depressed patient who you have never even gotten close to figuring out why I 'm depressed. Yeah, I'm glad to see you too.
  5. I sigh when Dr.Fisher smiles at me which makes the corner of her mouth twitch. "Keeeeyy," she says, "so great that youre down here with us! God, you're pale!" "Thank you, I try." I say. Dr.Fisher laughs nervously and I sit down and stare at her. She's uneasy. That's my fault. I do that to people. "So," Dr.Fisher says pulling it together, "how have you been feeling lately?" Depressed. "Better." Dr.Fisher smiles, writes something down and looks up at me. "Now Key-" "Kay." "Kay, you haven't been feeling better. Don't pull that bull s--- with me." she says. She clicks her pen and starts to prepare to right. "Any dreams lately?" She asks. Ah well, yeah. But I was falling off a cliff and I woke up before I actually hit the ground. Oh, and there was one where I was given two choices, to sit on the chair, or sit on a bed of nails. I chose the chair, obviously, but I was called a fool because I didn't have to answer. "Not really." I say. Dr.Fisher eyes me over her clip board. I eye her back. Her eye brow twitches. "Not really is not a yes or a no." she says. "Kay, I can't help you if you don't try to help yourself too." she says. I nod and she smiles with a slight cringe. "Now," she says,"not really is sort of yes, correct?" I shrug. Her eyebrow twitches again. "Alright, so what are those dreams?" she says. "Well, I was falling and I woke up just before I hit the ground." I say. Dr.Fisher nods. "A common dream. Everyone has atleast one." Dr.Fisher says. Mhmm. I know. I'm depressed not stupid. Well, maybe I'm stupid. I mean, I am talking with someone who thinks there's a cure to depression. Ha! Even I know there's not.
  6. "I want to go back upstairs." I say. I slide my chair across te floor and get up. Dr.Fisher grabs my hand. "Kay," she says. I look at her. No, to be honest, I glare at her. "What is it." I say.
  7. "Kay, you need to talk about this. It'll help cure your de-" she goes on and on. I don't want to be here. I want to go up stairs. I have the motivation for it. Look, I'm wanting something. Sure, it's sort of a "step" back, but hey, I have a motivation. "-will help more than you know." she ends. She squeezes my hand. "I want to help you-" "To bad you can't, huh?" I say. I slap my mouth wiht my hand. The corner of Dr.Fisher's mouth twitch and she squints the eye on the same side.
  8. Oh crap, Kay. You just messed up. Again. How did that even escape your head? Oh God, she's goiing to know your opin on her. Well, she was going to anyway 's not like I was hiding it that well. Way to look on the bright side! Making oh so very slight progress! "Alright, Kay," Dr, Fisher continues on. She urges me to take a seat and all i can think is why not. "How did that you feel?" Damn, I'll admit. I have suddeny more respect for a woman who can take that and work with it. "I had an 'oh s---' moment," I say, "but it felt good to say it and I had a positive thought I guess." I say Dr.Fisher smiles with that cringe again. "Positive thoughts. Please, do go on." Dr.Fisher says. I know I hate her, but I love the way Dr.Fisher talks. "Ah, well, I was thinking 'She was going to know sooner or later' and then I congratulated myself for 'looking on the brighter side' I guess." I say. Dr.Fisher smiles. It's genuine this time. "It's good that you are crongatulating your self for the right thing. Oh, and is good that you are looking on the brighter side that was also truthful as well." Dr.Fisher. Writes down on her clip board.
  9. "Key, you took another step to being cured!" Dr. Fisher says. Oh aaaaaaannnnnnndddd you ruined it.
  10. "This is why I don't like you." I say. Her mouth corner twitches again. "What would that be,Key?" I crack my knuckles. Oh yeah. She already knows she's in for a lot. I open my mouth, but the words won't come out. I sort of choke on them. I try again, but it's like water in the dryest desert. There's no water. Dr.Fisher leans forward, genuinly concerned that I might be slightly dieing. I try again, but theres nothing. I slam my fist on the table. Grab her clip board, yank out a page and write, Fisher, My name is KAY not key. And there is no cure for depresssion, you idiot. You're not qualified to deal with me. Kay. "Mom, I'd prefer a new therapist."

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