i wish you loved me less
Thread Topic: i wish you loved me less
-
i know he doesn't, but part of me worries he's lying to make me feel better
-
i'm literally so f---ing pathetic- i'm so f---ing lazy and stupid and a piece of s---, i need to f---ing grow the f--- up, like omfg. i'm pretty sure my boyfriend's parents hate me because they think i'm making him lazy and using him for his money and s---, which is so not true, but what if it is? what if i am using him for money? he does buy stuff for me a lot, even though i tell him not to- and i'm so f---ing pathetic i can barely make an effort to talk to his parents and have conversations with them like a normal f---ing person, which honestly i can't even do with my own f---ing parents either. i really am just a piece of s---, he probably thinks i'm terrible and lazy and a stupid, anxious mess and he's right because i am. i literally can't even get a f---ing job, holy s---- and he still says he loves me? why would he ever love me, i'm so f---ing pathetic- god i hate myself so much, i wish i was better for him. or maybe i should just leave him so he doesn't have to deal with a s---ty girlfriend like me. but i love him so much, and i'll probably never get another guy ever in my life because i'm so f---ing pathetic. i hate myself so f---ing much, i'm such a let down and a burden to him and his family and my family, i don't deserve him, i don't deserve anything.
-
everyone would be better off without me, i think...
-
i need to move out so bad. and get a new phone that my parents can't control ever again.
-
it's kinda my own fault tho. i was being reckless and stupid and got myself into trouble. but i was bored, so bored. i don't have things to do every second of the day, so it's not my fault that i go on these apps and websites. and i know it's not good for me, but it's just too addictive.
-
i miss roleplaying sm, and now one of my only sources of it is gone. at least i still have blizzard, but she's busy w her own life and i don't wanna be all over her all the time and stuff, idk.
-
and yeah i may have used it for stuff i didn't need to be using it for, but i really enjoyed using it for rping when i didn't have anyone to rp w in the moment. and now i don't have smth to use for rping on the go bc not only did my mom block a bunch of stuff but she also turned the screen time off totally for the entire f---ing app store.
-
it's so f---ing stupid and irritating, and ik she js wants what's best for me, but it feels like way too much sometimes.
-
(kinda wanna do this again because i honestly wanna know what other ppl think, aita style)
AITA for being frustrated about my parents restrictions? (TR;DL, i prob am the a--hole and js need to suck it up.)
i, 20 F, still live with my parents and sisters. my parents have heavy restrictions and screen time limitations on all the devices in this house, my phone, my sisters' phones, even their phones (is what i'm assuming. ik my mom has time limits but idk abt restrictions). they put screen time limits and other restrictions on my phone a while back, so it's not like i'm new to this stuff. for my phone at least, i get a screen time limit of 4 hours a day for all the apps on my phone and only 2 hours of screen time a day on social media, my phone screen time, if it's not used up fully, shuts off at 10 pm and it turns back on at 8 am the next morning. my sisters have the same screen time limits, though sometimes it feels like they have more screen time than me. on top of that, i have restrictions for the things i can look up, whatever i do look up they can look at, and they can restrict whatever apps and websites they choose to restrict. now, i'll fully admit, i do have a record of using apps and going onto websites my parents have told me not to use and look at content i don't need to be looking at, along with finding other apps and websites to use when they find out about an app or website i was using to get around it. and i know that it's wrong and that i'm sort of deliberately breaking their rules, but i really don't have anything better to do since i kind of have no social life or work life right now, nor have i ever really had a social/work life. i get bored and i seek things i know i shouldn't be letting myself seek, but it's all i have left that's my thing. i feel like i've had no privacy in my life at all, and while some of the time i have done stuff that was bad for me and my parents are just trying to protect me, but sometimes it's just too much. like, i get you want me to be safe and protect myself from inappropriate stuff, but i've already kinda f---ed myself up in that area, so why does it matter? i should be able to make my own mistakes and learn from them, but i just feel worse when they try to help by stepping in and handling it themselves. and i want them to trust me, i really do, but they invade my privacy so much it's hard for me to let them in and to trust them with my issues. it's kind of my own fault, but at the same time they aren't helping the situation much. am i the a--hole for being frustrated about this? -
maybe i js need therapy.
-
but if i go to therapy, then they'll know abt everything i'm dealing w and everything that's wrong w me, so-
-
i'm js so over everything rn.
-
You're 20. You're allowed to want more freedom, and emotions are always valid (though not always reasonable)
Also therapy doesn't mean your parents would know what you're dealing with. Therapists have a code of conduct where they can only divulge your info to others if it involves you potentially harming yourself or another person. Depending on the organization and your personal agreement with your therapist, they may tell your parents about diagnoses you have and if you want medication, but other than that they have no real say in what happens during therapy -
thanks. it's js so frustrating since i feel like i can do nothing about it, at least until i move out. and ik i've f---ed up a lot, but still.
-
i really do hate having a short screen time, i feel like i can barely use my phone.
Post a reply as a guest or Log In
REMEMBER:
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
- Do not harass or insult other people. Treat others how you'd like to be treated.
View all 10 forum rules
