You were banned because you make several people uncomfortable. The decision was made after Jill asked others it was okay. It was an impulse decision but it's not one she regrets.
You're bragging about how you liked roleplaying with yourself better than us... Which was what you did when you were pretending to be others. It's more fun, it's easier, ect. Plus you said it yourself, the other gaming servers you're in are better. You should just stick to them.
You don't come off as aggressive. You ARE aggressive. I couldn't tell you the truth people you didn't just get angry, you punished me for expressing myself.
I hope you try harder because they deserve better than what we've been put through. I tried, honestly, I did. But you couldn't be bothered to try for me and I got sick of it. Now, after it all, I see the patterns of emotional abuse, and manipulation. You really, really, really should consider therapy. If you truly want to change. Because you still don't see how f---ed up the way you treated Jill and I was. Not just the whole carla thing. The silent treatment as punishment, the refusal to let us have our own opinions or beliefs without punishing us for them, the nasty jealousy over us having other friends or being in relationships. Keeping you affection just out of our reach and using our love for you against us. I would have had you in my life forever if you had wanted to be my friend, if you had wanted to change. But I am never, ever going to forgive you, and I am never going to let you back in. You've left me with so many issues, so many things I have to work through because you treated me like absolute s---. I could spend three $100 therapy sessions just trying to work through it all. Because honestly when you're around, when I see your name, all I feel is nasty anger in my stomach. I can't get over what you've done, and I won't pretend it didn't happen. Just like I don't pretend that I didn't f--- Jill up.
You don't need your friends to join.. Lol. That's crazy. I don't care about them or what they think of you. I have my opinion of you and I don't care if you change or not. That's on you, Rose. I don't want to watch you grow, I don't want you in my life at all. I hate having you around, because it's a constant reminder of how hard I tried to earn you affection, and how f---ed up it was that I had to earn it in the first place.
Lol it really is because each trail takes around five months to complete, and they're only open from about May-October, which means it takes about 3 years to do the challenge, but I either want to try and complete it when I'm 26-29 or 30-33.
Yeah, I was planning on visiting Korea, but the COVID is really throwing a wrench in that plan. At the latest, I will be going there in February, but I would like to go there in September.
Do you have any plans on what to do after this pandemic is over?
Then why talk as if you are? Why gloat about how good of a fraud you are, if you aren't proud of it?
By the way, I also lied about how I felt about you admitting your catfishing because I was terrified you'd hurt me. You admitted what you did just before you were supposed to see me in person. I was terrified what you'd do to me. What you'd say to me, or about me. So I lied as well, because I knew you punish people for not agreeing with you. You did it all the time, and it's why I finally cut ties.
I dunno if you dipped to type, or to breathe, but I do want to reference this:
The day we talked it out, it made me go back to dig up those old screenshots just to see if I mixed things up.. Just to see if you were right. Kinda hard to know when I deleted my posts, but based on your messages, I know I was the one who misread and took everything the wrong way, not you. And I knew I made the mistake of digging those up to read because ever since, I've been itching to contact you again. To apologize and to ask for another chance since I felt confident that I had some growth... But I don't want to be friends with someone who lies to me and talks s--- about me behind my back.
If you genuinely felt bad for having hurt me, you would have apologized the second you realized what you had done. You wouldn't wait until it benefited you to do it. Someone who actually feels bad about what they've done, especially to someone they knew loved them, wouldn't wait until months down the line to apologize.
I haven't lied about you. I only told them what you told me. That's all I've done. And I only just now dropped that bomb on everyone, because they asked why I was uncomfortable enough that I banned you. As I've told you numerous times, I kept my mouth shut until now.
Everyone can see this. Everyone is reading. So, you haven't been banned from sharing your side. It's just.. Somewhere you can't delete it now. Somewhere a bit more permanent. And that goes for all of us.
me liking solo rping is no reason to get banned though. especially when its me rping my characters I made, not "Carla's". thats just something I had always preferred to do. me also stating that I like my gaming servers and the friends in it is also not a reason to get banned.
you're being a hypocrite. you don't know what's going on inside me. I *do* recognize how s---ty I treated both of you. If I hadn't, I would be struggling with my new friends right now. and you also got upset with me when I spent too much time gaming with them. I felt like I had to talk to you 24/7, and you drained me so much. your clinginess was too much for me. and i know I use to be like that way back in 2013ish because I remember getting mad for not getting attention. but at that moment, I just knew it was okay. and it wasn't okay for me to be jealous of you guys' friendships/relationship. I took note of that and I am not like that with my friends. literally one of my friends only said hey to me this morning and disappeared on me. am I mad? no. because I understand that there are things he wants to do, like game and chat with others. thats something ive worked on. and I also know that I use to rely on you two to start the conversations, and im sorry. I also try to express interest in talking with them when I want to instead of waiting for them to hit me up first.
I never intended to do so if I did. because im not proud.
and you know, I asked to call it off. if you didnt wanted to see me in person, you could've just said so. I told you that right before I got my stuff ready.
Jill told me that you admitted to her that you PURPOSEFULLY used Carla to torment us, to make us feel like we weren't good enough for you. You understand that that has real repercussions for us, right? It's not just something we can get over. It might have been fun for you, and you might be sorry for it now, but that doesn't change how incredibly screwed up it was. You being good to your new friends doesn't change how much you hurt us.
I didn't want you attention 24/7, I just didn't want to have to fight for you to talk to me at all. Parys and I don't speak every day and she's my best friend. Jill and I don't talk when we're busy, but we make time for each other because we're important to each other. I just wanted to be as important to you as you were to me, but you knew that and you used it against me. I could never have been enough for you. Maybe you feel sorry but it doesn't change anything for me at all. I still am so, so angry at you for everything you've done, for the little things here and there that Jill and I discover. You aren't allowed in the server because you make people uncomfortable. It's not that you enjoy solo rping, it's not that you like your new friends.. It's that you still, intentionally or not, use these things to make Jill and I feel like absolute s---.
thats not true. I used her make y'all jealous. thats also nut okay, clearly, but I didnt solely used her to torment you two. my real intention when using her was so it didnt seem like I was alone. you guys don't have to forget about all the bad things ive said to y'all. im not asking y'all to. and yeah, it doesn't change anything, but im not going to let my past mistakes determine and define who I am right now.
Making us jealous did make us feel like we weren't good enough. Same difference, still SUPER f---ed up, still hurt us a lot. Your actions do define you and it isn't all that far in the past. You did it for YEARS.
But at least you see how f---ed up what you did was. Again, therapy. You really need some help.
Goodnight. I'm done with this. Please never speak to Jill and I again, or about us, as you have traumatized us so much that the mention of you makes us sick to our stomachs.
I'm sorry for bumping your thread, but I do want to apologize for how I handled the situation. I should have warned you that I was going to ban you. I also probably should have been the one to explain the reasons. Though, I do hope you understand that consent can be taken away over time. I had felt comfortable enough to co-exist at first, but as time went on, I didn't feel safe anymore.
I am aware that I should have done better. I will keep this situation in mind if something like this ever comes up again, and I will not let my emotions cloud my better judgement.
If you feel the need to discuss this further, I can unblock you for the sake of a discussion (strictly regarding the ban and nothing else). Otherwise, I have nothing more to say. I will leave you alone from here on out, as I had been.
Lesson learned here is to stop trying to please those who don’t like you/people who aren’t in your life anymore, and try to please those who are in your life.
