Editorial chief?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:20pm
Thread Topic: Editorial chief?
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Doyou have a few minutes?
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;u; Nu time for Anna? Okie.
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Yes, I do. Sorry, I'm working on my novel and I had a splurge of inspiration. I always have time for you, Anna. ^^
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Yey. ^-^ Okie so I was wondering if you could read a bit of my novel and give me input on how it's coming along so far. :/
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Sure, I'd be happy to. :3
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Okay should I post a bit of the beginning or at school where there's a little drama or the romantic intestine is introduced?
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*intrest ._. Wow.
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How about both? I think it would be good to see the two together. :3
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Okay, beginning until school. I'm almost 20 pages in! :D
My mother screamed and slammed the front door. 6:27, start of the day and already another fight. What would she do to spoil herself this time? A hotel that we can't afford? Buy enough alcohol to start another wine cellar?mgorunning to an "old friend's" house? I went in my room, already breaking into tears. I got my journal from under my bed's mattress. Got in another fight with mom. I wrote. Apparently not being all happy, smiley twenty-four seven is now a crime. She also b----ed about how antisocial I am. Geez, maybe it's ecause they all ditched me for Benila. She's such a brat. Why are all the pops so, so. . .creuel? I paused for a moment. I rolled up the sleeve of my yellow sweater to reveal several scars. Funny. Te color yellow symbolizes happiness,yet I'm miserable. I tried to count my cuts, but failed. So many small pains etched into my skin as permanent reminders of my years of misery and suffering. Now I've never liked bright colors, so why wear yellow? The sweater is the last reminder I possess of my father's existence in my life.
I concealed my memories and used my sleeve to wipe away a tear. I had lost my father last year to the war in Iraq. His body was never found. I smiled slightly as milled of memories flashed through my mind. I focused on one particularly.
***
It was the summer of 2009. August fourth, 12:39 to be exact. Our last summer as a family. "Mom, dad?" I asked suddenly, unsure about sharing my epiphany.
"Yes, Ophelia?" my father responded. He, and my mother at this point in my life, was the only one that I felt truly careda me.
"Yes, dear?" my mother pressures after a few minutes passed in silence.
"I have a perfect memory. " I confessed. I recently discovered this.mwell, I guess I always knew, but didn't realize it.
"How so?" mom asked. She was now very interested in the subject. Before, I had never believed I possessed a talent. Mother always tried to convince me I did, but it was "hiding".
"Well I can remember most of my past. Things most people are too young to remember. For instance,I remember my birthday. It was June twelfth, 12:45 pm. I remember hearing the docotor say that. It was docotor Emett Jackson. I was wrapped in a pure white towel. I-"
"Ophelia, we get it." my father cut me off gently snugged me.
"This is wonderful!" my mother exclaimed.
I smiled.
***
My phone started buzzing, ihad stopped crying and my eyes were bone dry. Not for long. I started to tear up again. I wanted to stay there. Somewhat happy, young, innocent to the problems of r world. I checked my phone. 6:45. Time to start walking to school. We couldn't afford the bus so walk it was, everyday. I got my bag and started on my way,
End chapter one
I'll post the love interest intro in a minute. -
Is that too short for a chapter?
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So that's why I'm here. I thought, finished replying what just happened in my head. I sighed with my feet crossed, against the wall. I made it about ten paces out of the office before Mr. Mason called after me, "In school suspension! If you skip it's expulsion!" then slammed his office door behind me.
I heard footsteps approaching and tuned in the plastic orange chair, dropping my feet. Seriously?! One day I get in trouble he has to see me?! I thought, panicked. The butterflies were waking from their nest in my stomach as he walked by. The most perfect guy I've ever meg and possibly in the world. Sean Randals. He was holdi a blue ripe meaning he'd come to get a drink of water. See the school uses color coded rope to save money instead of paper passes. I buried my head in my hands, feeling exposed. In trouble and in gym clothes.
They stopped for a second, but I noticed they never faded. A chuckle. I picked up my head. "What?" I asked, confused and irritated.
He chuckled again. "Ophelia Socorro, never thought I'd see you here."
I glanced around me, taking in my setting. "In front of the guidance councilor's office?" I pondered with the smallest smile known to man, scratch that, to the world.
He grinned. "You can be funny." he stated. Glance towards me. Sean continued. "I was referring to how you're in trouble."
I sat there with my mouth agape. "What makes you assume I'm in trouble." I challenged, of course, I totally was, but what made him assume that first?
His eyes, those uniquely gorgeous eyes, flicked between me and the office door a few times before landing on me. "I don't suppose you're waiting for Mr. Beck" he said.
I looked to my left, the door to Mr. Beck's office, it was open, but he was nowhere to be seen. "No," I mumbled quietly.
Sean smirked. "ISS?" he asked sympathetically.
I nodded.
He glanced at his wrist where a thin, black leather watch was. "That sucks ass, man." he told me with a grimmace. "I gotta go back t class, sorry." Sean turned to leave, but hesitated. "Got some paper and a pen?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Sorry."
He put his arm behind me. Before I could say something, he pulled my pen from my pony tail. With a smirked asked, "Forgot about this, didn't you?" then he took my hand and scribbled on my arm.
When he let go, I turned my head to examine the dark greening, it was a phone number, I looked at him quizzically.
"I'm probably going to hear the story, a story, about why you're here, but I'd like to hear the truth. From you. plus, you're pretty chill. See you around!" he saluted and turned once again.
I found my voice "What about your drink?" I asked softly,
I don't believe he heard me. I found my voice late. He kept walking, but that was okay. I sighed happily and continued to examine the number.
End chapter four
I think. I time skip until the day ends, but I could just add stars if the chapters are too short. -
Damn, that was amazing! :D
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Were the chapters too short?
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I don't think so, to be honest.
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That was awesome! I love how you introduce the boy into the story. And usually my chapters are shorter than that. xD
One thing... the memory talent is scientifically impossible.
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