On the subject of self love:
- Locked due to inactivity on May 21, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: On the subject of self love:
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I do recognize that it can be really difficult to unlearn self-loathing. At 24 years old, I'm still learning to use more positive language when I refer to myself. I struggle with suicidal ideation and feelings of worthlessness. I've been putting myself down as long as I can remember. But that's not healthy or productive. You want more than just words to convince you of this, and I can respect that. So I'll do my best to give you motive. Here are several reasons to put more energy into loving yourself:
1. For your loved ones.
Beyond the fact that it's just flat out hard to respond to self-hatred, it's incredibly painful to see someone you love treating themselves badly. You may not love yourself right now, but you do love your friends, or your family. Try to remember the things they love about you. Don't tell yourself it doesn't count or that they don't mean it. That train of thought is damaging, usually untrue, and it invalidates their opinions. Let yourself believe the people that are important to you when they speak kindly about you.
2. For your faith.
This one isn't for everyone, and that's okay. There are plenty of other incentives to treat yourself better. If you're not religious, skip this one. For those of you that are, your God made you in His image. He loves you, and to hate yourself is to claim to know better than He does.
3. Because f--- the world.
Society romanticizes self-hatred to the point that most of our youth thinks genuinely valuing yourself is a character flaw. You see it in movies and hear it in music. You're meant to hate yourself- it proves that you're not conceited. But you're not a sheep. You don't have to conform. Self love is not only healthier- it's a rebellion.
4. It's more attractive.
Not just romantically, either. People are drawn to confidence, as friends and as partners. It's easier to get along with, less awkward. This doesn't mean you don't deserve friendship or a relationship until you love yourself, it just means it'll be easier for you to find if you can learn to stop putting yourself down.
5. Self love demands respect.
Holding yourself in high regard means you won't so easily settle for poor treatment from others. Knowing your worth means knowing you deserve better than an abusive relationship or a toxic friendship. Being comfortable with yourself will give you the stability to be strong when it's time to cut someone off when they don't have your best interest at heart.
6. It's just better.
Hating yourself is tiring and painful. I think it's worth the effort it takes to practice self love and self care in order to lead a happier life.
Here are some tips and things to remember:
Progress isn't linear. It's okay to struggle on your journey to self love. It's okay to have days when you feel like you haven't made any headway. It doesn't invalidate the work you've put into it up until that point, and it doesn't mean you've failed. Keep trying.
Try to eliminate self-depracation from your arsenal of jokes. You can still be funny and original without calling yourself trash. You internalize the things you say about yourself, whether willingly or not.
Know that you're not alone. Even if you feel like you don't have anyone offline, you have your friends here on Gotoquiz, all of which want the best for you. That includes me. You can turn to your support system, on or offline, when you need validation.
Ask yourself if you would say or think the same thing about your best friend if they did the exact thing or looked the exact same way. If the answer is no, you shouldn't say or think it about yourself, either. You're the best friend you're ever going to have. You're the one keeping you alive. Recognize that.
Do you apologize a lot? It's okay, so do I. But that makes you feel like a burden, and often makes things awkward for the people you're apologizing to. Instead of saying sorry, try saying thank you. Here's an example:
Don't say, "Sorry I'm whining so much."
Say, "Thank you for listening."
Like I said, I know this is hard. But please don't tell me you don't have the energy to try to change the way you feel about yourself, or that you don't know how. There are plenty of people willing to help, and you have your whole life to work on it. Why else are we alive but to work toward self-actualization? Don't stay where you are just because it's easy. I thoroughly believe that every day is a chance to become a more perfect version of yourself, and that that is our purpose in life. Please consider this carefully before you shrug it off. -
Thank you so much <3
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If anyone else has anything they'd like to add to my post, I welcome your input. I wrote this off the top of my head and I'm sure I missed some great points and tips.
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Y'all I'm gonna ask you not to ignore this. I spent a lot of time writing it up and I really believe a lot of you need it.
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I am sorry but I am that person who rejects help when it's needed most.
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Then that's on you and you shouldn't make it anyone else's problem.
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I don't care to make it anyone's problem
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You make it your friends' problem when you rant about how much you hate yourself. You want the attention, but you don't want the help. That's making it other peoples' problem.
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Not if I'm talking to myself, I don't want "attention" I have no use for it, I rant to myself they can make it their problem if they choose to I'm not forcing anything on them.
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Whatever you say.
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brycen, that's not a good decision
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It's not a decision it's just who I am
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no, whether or not you try to accept help is a decision.
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Well said <3
Brycen, you can find a way to vent without hurting your friends. Maybe include trigger warnings at the beginning of your post (if there are any) or put a disclaimer like "I just need to vent, i don't need a response to this." You have to be aware that there are people here that care about you, and you shouldn't take advantage of that just for attention. You have resources, use them.
It's also in veeery poor taste to let Road go through the trouble of typing up this post and then replying to it basically saying you don't care. It would have better to just not reply at all, in my opinion -
I appreciate that, Bea. Thank you.
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