Funerals are so freaky. Everyone in the same room as a corpse. I can't get used to it. I touched my dead grandmother's hand and I can't get that terror out of my head. I touched a dead body. It freaks me out.
A lot of it is just the intrusive thoughts that come with seeing corpses irl. But I also saw my gramma, the one my middle name honours, being wheeled out of the house the morning she died. Her feet looked so cold. They were blue. She had been dead since maybe 3 am and none of us knew. I was just in the other room. Next to a dead body. She was also one of the only people I could trust. One of the only people I felt safe with as a kid. Losing her was devastating. I was 12 I think. That did a number on my psyche for sure
I keep thinking about something that happened in my dream, and I want to write about it, but I wonder if posting creative writing in one's own thread is considered cringy or if it would make me look dumb?
If I think about the contents I puke
I had to stay home from school once
That box is full of all my nightmares. The bad ones
I try not to think about them in detail but rogue images pop up every now and then
They're hard to get rid of