- Locked due to inactivity on Oct 29, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: Dragon's Lair
How are you?
It would take a long post to explain.
you can still do it if you want
idk, ok you know
zilla AdvancedBored. Yourself?
oh i thought u were talking to me
I don't know if I should.
I'm a little surprised. It was bright and sunny and now suddenly it's dark cloudy and pouring outside.
My stomach is so sour when I wake up and I'm just not hungry so I don't eat anything. Then a few hours later, I'm really hungry, but my stomach is still sour, so any food I look at upsets my stomach. Then by lunch I'm starving and my stomach isn't upset anymore. Then I'm almost just constantly snacking all afternoon because I didn't have anything in the morning. Sometimes I can manage to eat something in the morning, and then I'll be a little better.
I'm not sure what the problem is. I feel like I'm being ignored, in a way. I have friends, but they'd much rather hang out with each other than with me. I don't know how to describe it. They are all having fun together, then when I join, suddenly it doesn't seem fun. I've always had to be an onlooker. Observing people have their fun, because I know that when I join, it will down until it's not there. I feel like I'm never welcome. No one ever talks to me. It's like they don't even pay attention to me unless I have something major to say. I have to go out and talk to them in order for us to have some sort of conversation. And even then, it's not how I would like it to be. Almost like they don't want to have the time for me and so the conversations are always so short and dismissive.
Maybe it's me. If I'm having this reaction to me online and in real life, then maybe I'm the problem.
Maybe it's how I portray myself. Maybe I'm seen as this... super serious girl that doesn't have time for silliness. Every time I act silly, I get put down, though. I get reprimanded for acting like a six year old at home, and at school, they think I'm crazy for doing it even though they're that way day in and day out. So it just doesn't come naturally for me to be this funny silly girl. Also when I try it in a group,it's like their mindset switches, and they go, 'Oh, we have to act more serious for her because she doesn't know how to be silly.' I don't know how, because I've always been put down for it.
Or maybe it's because I don't talk about my problems, and so I'm seen as a person who sees herself as this high and mighty person. It's just that at home, I'm told to, "Buck up, you can deal with it," and with my friends, they simply don't care. And on here, I'm able to talk about my problems freely, but when I see other people's problems that are way worse than mine, I don't feel like I can share my problems. One of my friends is struggling to not harm themself, and here I am frustrated that my mom misunderstands me? My problems pale in comparison to other people's. I feel like I'm living the dream, what right do I have to complain about my problems?
So then what can I talk about? I can't be silly and impractical, and I can't talk about my problems, so what can I talk about? It ends up being about me, my accomplishments, and what great things I'm going to be doing in the day. And I hate talking about that kind of stuff. It's like saying no one else is good enough, I'm the best.
So I don't know what it is, but gtq is starting to seem too much like my normal life.
*I feel like compared to others I'm
Hmm. The downpour stopped and the sun is shining again.
Even when I'm surrounded by my friends, I still feel lonely.
I'm tired of always being the outlier
There's nothing wrong with you.
In life and online, there are a lot of buttheads, and all they do is ignore people and keep to their little circle of friends. Now, maybe your friends aren't all bad. Maybe they're jealous of something you do that they know they can't be.
But don't let that hurt you either. You are you, and they are them. They need to accept you the way you are, otherwise they're not truly friends.
Also, not to discourage friendship, but the term "friend" is used so loosely, nowadays, that it doesn't have much of a meaning at times. "Friend" isn't quite the word you want to use for people you know and interact with on the daily bases. I only use the term when I know that they truly care about me as much as I care about them.
I know it's probably hard, and it stinks that life sucks like this, but some people are incapable of being sincere because they're taught to be superficial.
Girls your age and my age these days are highly superficial in their own ways. They only care but so much, and this is why I have trouble making friends.
Hopefully, though, you'll find out what's going on, or you'll find more suitable friends. But don't just drop the old ones. It wouldn't be right.
I read your first sentence and started crying.
I just hate seeing people feel like they don't belong. It's not fair. Who owns the world that they can claim you don't belong?
You'll be alright.
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