I know this probably belongs in the Library
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:36pm
Thread Topic: I know this probably belongs in the Library
-
So, for Honors, we get to write a poem (any sort. I decided to do Free Verse since I can't rhyme for s---.) and we have to perform it in front of the class on Monday. I have to get the Okay from my teacher tomorrow though. Do you guys think you could read through it real quick and give me some feed back? (get ready for some really predictable s---. It's a poem written by a teenaged girl, don't expect much.)
Monsters; youve known them ever since you were little.
At first they started out in your closets but now youve found that theyre all around you, all the time.
Theyre creatures who suffocate you as they reach their arms down your throat to tear out your heart
To tear out your feelings
To make you go numb like youre Hansel and Gretel, lost in the woods
And every time you leave a trail of crumbs the monsters come to eat it.
These monsters drown you in a pool of hate and decay
And you beg for them to stop but they wont until you take your last breath.
They are monsters worse than death.
They are killers dressed up as saviors slitting throats and laughing as their victims drown in their own blood
These monsters dress up like humans hoping to be accepted into the decaying society the world has become
But even a human being isnt close to being human.
No, these monsters are worse than Death.
They are greedy trolls ripping your happiness and self respect out of you as twisted form of taxes
They command a kingdom inside your head smothering hope and replacing it with pain and cruelty.
But no matter what they will never get enough of anything theyre taking from you or anyone else
No, they have dug graves with their bare hands waiting for people to die
And if they wouldnt die they lined everyone up, one by one, and put a gun to their heads
They coaxed them into suicide as easy as pulling the trigger of the gun they shot them with.
And believe me, they will try to do it to you, but you cant let them.
Because these monsters all around you dont matter. They may be worse than Death,
But the only monster worse than the monsters worse than death is the monster inside you.
That monster is the monster that whispers You arent good enough.
It is the monster that keeps you up late at night making you remember the horrible things other monsters said
That monster is the demon you can not be afraid of!
You cant be afraid of it because you cant destroy it; it will always be there.
The fear you feel inside is the noose the monster ties around your neck
So if youre afraid of it any longer then youve already lost.
Its dragging you down into that pool of hate and decay, suffocating you like a plastic bag
Youre trying to scream, cry, beg for help and youre blindly reaching out for things to hold onto
But after so much time fighting you feel that there is nothing there.
Youre done for, this is it
The monsters around you and the monster inside of you have finally won
Youre choking on the noose of fear
And you know that this Monster inside of you will coax you into suicide like everyone else
And that the kingdom every monster has built inside your head has finally won the war ; you against them
This is it, youre done, youre ready to give your final breath
But you have to realize that where there are monsters, there are angels
And help is in your reach, only if you gather the courage to open up your eyes.
The only monster worse than the monsters worse than Death is the monster inside you; and you wont let it win -
Deep
-
Wow.
I like it though, yeah. Very...interesting? Don't know the word. -
Though I might have nightmares tonigjys
-
Geez tonight
Thanks for spazzing ouy phone -
I think I know what you're trying to say, and thank you ^~^
Nightmares? Why?
But, you guys didn't find anything that needed changing? Anything that seemed weird or something? -
No?
-
Flowerpetal NoviceHmm I would say for you to riyme(sp) a little more but other than that AWESOME!
-
It's free verse so it's not supposed to Rhyme but thank you ^~^
-
No, I don't really see anything weird or bedding changing to it. That's my view of it, anyway.
-
Needing*
Do not type while half asleep.. -
Alright, thanks guys ^~^
-
You're welcome.
-
Flowerpetal NoviceOh... my bad...
And no problem!
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
