So, I almost killed myself tonight.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: So, I almost killed myself tonight.
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Hah.
I was freaking out. Because, you know, this town is just.. Mm. You're a closeted transgendered teenager, who also happens to be asexual and biromantic, as well as dealing with depression and anxiety in a town that is homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, and just full of a--holes in general.
And I still have to live here for three years.
Like, my friends are great. Julianna and Doll are absolutely f---ing perfect. But they have problems of their own, and after Juli having a break down because of me, I don't like unloading my problems on them.
And all my family members, they say that I can talk to them about anything. You know, anything other than my gender identity, my sexuality, my eating disorder.. The stuff I actually need to talk about, anyways.
On top of that, you have school. And tests, and grades, and getting into a college so that you can get far, far away from this town, these people.
...I dunno. I couldn't sleep, so I was messing around. Took out some ace bandage wrap, used it to bind, (don't do this, I was being stupid) pinned y hair up under a beanie, and just kinda broke. Because I have to wait three more years to be me.
I've tried to get my mom to call someone so that I could get in with a doctor and get on some meds. I know my life doesn't suck as badly as it could. I just feel so freaking trapped sometimes, though. -
I'm about to leave so I won't have much time to say anything of importance, but so you won't feel ignored and/or uncared about, I just popped in to say that I care about you and that I usually don't respond to your threads because I often don't see them. Goodnight!
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I don't believe we've ever talked, but I'm very sorry you feel this way. Being things like transgender and asexual are hard to deal with, especially surrounded by closed-minded a--holes. Please don't hurt yourself because there are people who care about you, and it's perfectly fine to rant about your problems on here if you want. Remember there are a ton of safe-spaces and numbers to call etc. if you really feel like hurting yourself, or you can even come on here if it helps. I hope you can transition as soon as you can, and three years will pass quicker than you think. Best of luck!
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