No Subject can be perceived
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: No Subject can be perceived
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I am really really really really really really really really glad that I went to that dance tonight.....
I am so happy right now, I haven't been this happy in what feels like years... it is real honest joy and I am this bubbly adrenaline vein.
You guys have never seen this in me, but this is how I was like before all the crap of life spewed out on top of me.
Only two people have ever been able to pull this side out of me, Izaya, and Kaylie. I swear I haven't seen them in years but just being around the two amazing people who have been there for me since I was three and have never failed to charm me with their fun loving amazing personalities and quirks.
I haven't had this much fun since the last time I was with the two of them..
and life is jinxing me with Hero, I swear every time I am in the car with my dad the moment he turns on the radio that song is always playing.
You guys, I am the best me right now... -
Good to hear you're so much better. Maybe I should just get on the run before I end up messing it up since Im a bad luck magnet?
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No no no, you can't possibly break my mood right now. You see, when you get around Izaya it takes hours for the effects to wear off regardless of the circumstances.
But I heard what is wrong. Alex, after today I am positive that enjoying life irl, is amazing. You should probably take a break and enjoy life without the toil of the accursed electronics. -
Okay.
Ha, life without Space Engine would be like dying. I need to leeeaarrrnnn Savannah andall the books I have only say things I already knooowww -
Mhmm.
Of course there isn't such thing as restriction. -
Its amazing trust me i just had the best night
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Actually, I am going to go for a bit and write.
I will see you later tonight hopefully -
Josh@ IKR!
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slings and arrows are killin me insi-i-ide, maybe I can't accept the life that's mine, no
huh? -
oh, okay then. ;-;
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Oh sorry i guess what im saying is you can get depressed sometimes but never let that bring you down
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*sigh* I am so sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you two...
Last night wouldn't have got anywhere anyways, I had no self control and was floating on a cloud so I couldn't think straight...
Franky I don't feel much attachment to this site anymore. You probably won't see much of me anymore either. -
Now I am actually a little depressed and nostalgic. I wish my life could be as amazing as last night and I want to do anything to make it like that again.
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It is all too hard... and then... beautiful... *sigh*.. I liked... why?....
I have been looking for a way to say this...
Last night kaylie introduced me to her friend. He kept coming up to me simultaneously and talking me.... I liked him, and it was obvious that he liked me... Kaylie being the girl she is told him I didn't like him in an attempt to help and I didn't know whether to punch her or thank her.... but later than night when I was sitting in the bleachers all alone, Izaya came up to me being the courteous person he is and we conversed in out crazy weird way and he wouldn't leave even when his friends asked them to go dance with them. I told him to go enjoy himself and then he told me to come we Hou myself with them... I ended up in a crazy happy square with Izaya, Kaylie, and the guy who liked me- Curtis. We watched Izaya go crazy freestyling to the music for awhile and then I decided to do something I haven't done in years, have fun. I joined Izaya and attempted to freestyle (which didn't work well, but nobody told me I sukced, when I noted that I sukced kaylie and Curtis just told me I was enjoying myself) I haven't had that much fun saying screwball random things and attempting crazy things in years. And Curtis noticed how I kept looking at Izaya, - he was right in front of me and it was hard not to watch his obscurity- he started flirting and some of the things he said were so freaking unexpected that I don't even know how to handle them. At the end of the night when I was still drunk with pleasure and joy and we stood waiting for kaylie's parents to pick up. Before Curtis left he told me something that time haven't heard in forever, and regardless of his intentions for saying that and what he meant it was still the one thing that destroyed whatever was left of the old me and fixed me- he said that he would probably never see me again and I argued that where we live isn't very big and that we were bound to run into each other on way or another. He responded with these exact words, "Oh, well you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met and I have never seen you before."
I don't care how flirtishous that was, it has broken me and fixed me in so many ways... I haven't been told that I am beautiful or that I matter to someone in forever, and then this person who has no reason to love me says this to me- I don't know...
I probably need a lot of help but all I want to do anymore is spend time with the three of them. They are the only people who I have ever known that can make me feel so alive and bring out the best, the boldest, and the most fun-loving parts of me.
Please tell me I am just a teenage girl who just has strong hormonal drives right now and that none of it was real. -
Lucky_Thirteen13 NewbieHi
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